A nonsensical ditty for The Mag
ILLUSTRATION BY HELEN WARD
THE MENU HAD BEEN DISCUSSED
WEEKS AND WEEKS BEFORE
THE TOAD WANTED RESTRAINT
THE BADGER WANTED MORE
THE MEAL WAS CHOSEN
THE SILVER AND THE DATE
ALL LEFT TO DECIDE
WAS WHO SAT FACE TO FACE
THE PLANNERS AND THE GUESTS
WERE DIVIDED BY THE TABLE
NO ONE HAD FAITH
THAT TEMPERS WOULD BE STABLE
THE WEASELS ARRIVED
CHECKED ATTITUDE AT THE DOOR
THE HOSTS EXPECTED LESS
AND HID WEAPONS IN THE FLOOR
THINGS BEGAN CIVIL
UNTIL MUSHROOMS HIT THE PLATE
THE INTOXICATION
FIRED THE GREAT DEBATE
HEALTH CARE AND GUN CONTROL
WERE SUBJECTS FORBIDDEN
WHEN TWO GROUPS ARE MEETING
FROM BOTH SIDES OF THAT RIBBON
SO CLUBS WERE PULLED
AND TEETH WERE BARED
WAS ANYBODY'S GUESS
HOW EACH SIDE FARED
THE RUMOR IS THE FIGHT GOES ON
TO THIS VERY DAY
EACH SIDE KNOWS BEST
THERE'S NO MEETING HALF WAY
