As We Age

there are just some things we can no longer do...like climb trees, move refrigerators by ourselves, or wrestle a calf to the ground.  Just little odds and ends that remind us we may no longer be in our prime.

Jobs that once were done swiftly by one now have to be managed with cooperation of two or more.

Yesterday was a fine example.

Our phone land line was out.  No phones and after doing all the tests that we are required to do before we call in for repair service, we knew without a doubt, it was their problem and not ours.

Here's the dilemma...how can you report a telephone outage if your phone doesn't work?   Luckily the computer did work.  I "chatted" with three different people who told me that was not their department.  I found them from the repair request page.  Hmmmm, could this be a failure to communicate?  Same phone company just one department cannot contact another department or transfer me on the computer or even take a simple message for me. Granted they were all polite and overly helpful regarding anything else I needed.  (I think they take a happy pill before they answer phones for the day)  I didn't need new equipment.  I didn't need to move my service.  I didn't need to upgrade my service.  I just needed the service I was paying for (and they checked that too to make sure I had paid my bill in a timely manner)

After I had reached my frustration peak...which is just before I repeatedly slam the phone with a rock, insist they remove all my services or begin a detailed discussion about their ancestor's origins and abilities .

We live in a valley.  Cell phones have no signal in the house.  We have a multitude of options to remedy that from standing on the bow of our boat holding the phone high in the air, standing on a rock in the back yard and extending phone to get two bars, or driving to the top of the farm to get full signal.

After much debate, Hubby said climb on the rock and call them.  I don't use a cell phone anymore so that would be like giving a Neanderthal a microwave and telling him to cook!  I did try to climb on the rock but my balance took all my attention.

Hubby climbed on the rock and called the phone company. He gave the wrong social so I wrote that in the sand for him to see.   He couldn't hear the person so he disconnected.  Finally he returned to the rock, put the phone on speaker with me standing on the ground yelling to the speaker phone he held high over his head.  After much discussion about all the tests we had already done and a test call to our house to make sure it wasn't ringing we finally got results when Hubby mentioned he had a defibrillator that has to checked by phone.

Guess what...a repairman was here within twenty minutes.  We have phones again!

I dislike phones so I'm turning the ringer off!

Lawyer With Humor and Medical Update

My youngest daughter is now into her third month of healing after seven surgeries, a skin graft, and in home wound care.  She is still here with her six year old son, Z.

Today's visit to doctor was not what we wanted to hear...the bone may never heal.  On the bright side all the screws and wires are holding her bone together. Doc said the bone would not crumble so Maria can begin to test the foot a little at a time.

The man who was responsible for the accident did not have insurance.  It's true.  He didn't and there's nothing that can be done to help Maria with her lost car, lost wages and for right now, lost ability to walk.

You know what trouble I get into when I start thinking, well, I thought anyway.  I came up with a brilliant idea to show him as an unlawful and unsafe person. I compiled a letter to the editor for local newspapers.

That letter was some of my best writing, I thought.  I crafted it carefully making sure only facts were used.  I spun a tale that would make a repo man cry and a lawbreaker run for high country.

I decided to send it to my lawyer first to make sure the letter was not slanderous.  He replied it was a good letter and by no means was it slanderous, HOWEVER, he would not advise me to send it to the papers.  Why? you ask.  Well, my lawyer knows me and he said the man would reply publicly and, knowing me, I would respond and on and on. The lawyer said he could see no benefits for me or my daughter by publishing this letter. Then he made my day by saying, "Gail, you can never win a pissing contest with a skunk."

My Interview with Lisa

Lisa, AkA Rapunzel, has taken over my subject matter for posting. She has sent me interview questions. We must keep her happy and entertained in her tower. This is key to her recovery. We can only stand so many of those pictures taken out those windows of her room! Hopefully, if I torture her enough, that leg will heal immediately due to her desire to come kick my butt!

1)Talk about your proudest moment.

This is a hard one, leave it to Lisa to make me do soul searching!
I cannot define my life with one proud moment there are so many. I was proud when Den thought I was special enough to want to marry me. I was proud at the births of our girls. I was proud when the grandson came. I was proud when my oldest daughter admitted I was right. I was proud when my Bambie won The Best Wagger at a dog show. I was proud when my parents told me they were proud. Oh, there are many, many moments, the first step of baby, the first word, a job well done, a smile from a stranger...all these things and so many more.

2)Talk about your most embarassing moment.

When one of the girls walked into the bedroom and asked what are you doing to Mama, Daddy. Den calmly said, I am rocking her to sleep.

3)If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

I have always dreamed of Ireland. It seems to call me, in its pictures and its stories. Could be the Irish blood in me crying to go home.

4)Have you ever swam naked? Where?
Yes, the first time was in the middle of the night when my hubby and I were camping at a lake. The water and the night were warm, the moon was shining and the freedom and feel of the water were absolutely amazing. Many years later, night time in our pool was my stress reliever. After a day at work, everyone asleep, I would swim for an hour under the stars, buck naked, and it was wonderful. Brings to mind words from the show, Designing Women, In the South, naked is when you have no clothes on. Nekked is when you have no clothes on and you're up to something.

5)How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Have to go count...I do have three pairs of boots, lace up, riding and muck. I lean toward barefoot and flip flops in everything...that's why I have so many foot injuries. I tend to choose one pair of shoes that I like and wear them til they wear out and move on to another pair.

6)What is the most daring thing you've ever done?

Table dancing...not professionally...and not really a table, it was dancing across three chairs. Hey, they were in my way! Hubby did help me down rather quickly. Just love to dance!

7)What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?

The contest with Den over a rubber snake. We would hang snakes in the fruit trees to scare the birds, move them around and the birds did not ruin all the fruit. We had removed the snakes after harvest. One was beside Den's chair. That night he dropped his jeans on top of it, the next morning he picked up his jeans, jumped, and blamed me. The battle was on. The next day at work, I opened my brief case for something and, you guessed it, there was that snake! Ok, honey, does not know he is playing with a pro here. He had a portable welding business at this time and we had been seeing a black snake around the truck, even under the hood once. Oh, I worked hard...when Den is frustrated and goes for his tools he yanks the door open to his truck, when calm he just opens it. This is a key factor is what I had to do. I worked for hours with that snake and fishing line. I had to have it just right! If he yanked, I wanted the snake to strike at him, if he just opened the door I wanted it laying naturally on the arm rest. The day of my triumph came. Den was working on some equipment, needed a tool, was aggravated and headed to the truck for more tools. I watched from the kitchen window in anticipation with a evil grin from ear to ear! I heard him holler all the way to the house!!! #*&$&&* GAIL! He had jerked open the door, the snake jumped and struck him perfectly and lay swinging by its invisible string as he cursed me. Ah, the sweet taste of success!! The snake was never seen again.

Lisa, you must never ask me questions...because I will answer. Thanks, this was fun.