National GeoGRAPHIC TURTLES

Once upon a time

Far, far away

A male turtle decided

To "have his way"

The female wasn't interested

She said, "Nobody's home"

Didn't matter to him

He climbed up on his own.

Then the humans came

And, oh, what a surprise

The male dismounted poorly

losing his Olympic prize 

She asked, "Are you done?"

The back door locked

He was on the run

She won't answer next time he knocks.

Naked Bike Parade!!!

I just visited Jo(e)'s blog that witnessed a town celebrate the Solstice that way this year...by watching not participating. Now, my shocked mind went in a spin.  I pretty much tolerate anything but not sure I would want to be a participant nor a viewer of this.

I admit.  I looked.  The art and creativity was amazing.  The desire to duplicate this event did not enter my mind.

Then I thought about the bikes...Don't tell me that's comfortable for male or female!

I used to share my bike!  I would never think twice about loaning it out for a ride.  I'm sorry but I just can't look at bikes the same anymore.  I certainly won't be borrowing a stranger's bike for sure.

Makes me hesitate at purchasing a second hand bike but how do we know for sure the new bikes are not tested for this very event?

I guess I'm old fashioned or prudish.  I stopped and thought a while if there would be any reason I would EVER ride my bike naked.  Only one situation called for it.  If you ride your bike to a private swimming hole, go skinny dipping, and the owner shows with a shotgun full of rock salt...I had to admit I would ride my bike naked.  Like the wind.

**post meant to be humorous, not critical

Tommie Copper

I roll out of bed and hit the floor
my body ain't so good anymore
I can sit and I can stand
but I have to wait for someone's hand

the basketball knee
needs support
I pull on Tommie Copper
now i play sports

My back won't bend
it just hurts
I pull on my
compression shirt

I am weak
my shoulders are whacked
let me put on my sleeves
be right back

Compressed from stem to stern
these new girdles work I'll be durn!
I am old but encased with Tommie Copper
Will someone help me outta this rocker??

Disclaimer:  Tommie Copper did not reward me for this!

Forty-Two Years Together...

and he still loves me, in spite of or because of all my weird ways.  He told me one year he has never been bored with me.  That may be the secret.

We've had our ups and downs but at the end of the day we never go to sleep mad.  That was the advice my amazing Granny Pruett gave me years ago.

Hubby romances me with rocks and found glass.  These are the best gifts because he knows what makes me happy.  I romance him with food as Granny Pruett advised the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

It has worked and is still working for both of us.  We are comfortable. I think that may be true love. Knowing what the other enjoys and being comfortable enough not to feel the need  for meaningless conversation. Teasing and joking but always aware of never crossing the line from just plain ornery to mean.

What ever the secret is...it's still working.  We may call each other butt wipe now and then but we always go home together.

Hubby was/is a surprisingly old fashioned gentleman.  He asked my parents for my hand in marriage and picked the engagement ring long before I even knew.  He knew I would say yes!

As I stir arsenic into his soup I smile. I really do love him but he has to go.

Happy Anniversary, honey!!!

Here's to another forty-two if the arsenic fails me.

This is the graphic tale of the beginning of our romance.

As Bill Engvall says, "Here's your sign!" but I wasn't reading.

The Mag 165: The School Teacher

Instructions

1) Write a poem or short vignette using the picture featured in this post as your inspiration. Feel free to take the image to use for your post. 

2) Link back to Magpie Tales from your post.

3) Sign up in the Mr. Linky list, linking directly to your post,AFTER you've posted.

Joining the challenge at Magpie Tales

Monhegan's Schoolteacher, 2004 by Jamie Wyeth 

The School Teacher

I'm so pleased I did not have

A teacher such as she

With not a brain to cover up

When it's minus twelve degrees.

SC108...Golden Anywheres

Time once again to meet the weekly challenge. The Rules:  Use the picture below (horizontally or vertically) as inspiration for your story.  Number of words: 100.  Style of writing: Any.

Scientifically created Golden Anywheres
Had this lady walking on air
Crossing the ceiling she frowned
She was up but her dress stayed down.

What can I do?  She looked around
She could clean the ceiling just like before
But now she could sweep the dust to the floor.
Sweeping to her heart's content
The floor was quickly covered with lint.

The ceiling was finished
Her shoes held her tight
Her legs were burning from the heel's height.

Turning to go from ceiling to wall
The shoes came off.
She died from the fall.

Ode To My Navel

Alas, my dear navel,

 I knew thee well

when you were but a gentle swell

marking the center of my being.

I lost sight of you during human incubation.

Oh, but you always returned.

You returned and swirled and dipped in gentle folds

and danced, when I laughed.

This season, I see you only in my reflection,

as you solemnly stare one-eyed.

Will you return after the holidays

so I may gaze into your eye once again?

This N That

I always enjoy touching on this and that now and then.

A little humor

Our one eyed dog

The ice storm's devastation

And one simple question

My Husband, My Friend

Every one has been saying such nice things about their mate, so I thought I would lie... not really. This is the man who puts up with all my crazies, all my insecurities, all my furniture moving, and all my horses and STILL LOVES ME!

If asked thirty-seven years ago(in June) what do you love about this man? I would have answered his eyes, his laughter and his butt. Now, if asked, I would have to answer what do I not love about this man?

Today he brought me a gift and I would like to share. Enjoy!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, what's on tv? I said, dust.
And then the fight started.

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please. He said Aren't you worried about the mad cow? Nah, she can order for herself.
And then the fight started.

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And then the fight started.

Thank you, Den, for loving me. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for picking me after all those girls you slept around with before we met. I love you, honey!

Tragic Loss

A terrible loss happened weeks ago. I have not had the strength to share.

The coroner reports have come back as a suicide. There were no witnesses and he left no note. That is never easy to deal with, blaming yourself and thinking there is something I could have done.  I should have seen it coming.

He was special to me, I had only known him four short years but he had lived a life time before he moved in.

In his passing, he has left to mourn...me. Preceded in death by the pink flower vase.

To ease my burden, he was interred immediately but will always be in my heart.
Almost Gone Flower is close to my dishwasher so I can visit him daily.


Please, bear with my grief! The passing of this great piece has left an empty spot on my shelf and in my heart. If you see any of his relatives, please, have them notify me, I have a vacancy!

What A Farmer Needs...

I've been pondering this quite a bit. We need alot like extra dollars, extra hands, new equipment, new back...this list could go on. I have decided to sum up what I think are the top things a farmer needs.

Good Fence.

Good Boots.

Good Boss.

Good Back.

Good Sense of Humor.

With these top five you can get anything done!