Past Life

I've always walked a different path

 Notice I fell asleep with a book.

I liked hats but rarely cameras...

Dad always made us smile.

I always had sun grins

and thought I was a boy.

Mom never gave up. 

Oh, how I detested the making of ringlets!

Every thing is pretty much the same as it was

except I know I'm NOT a boy. 

The Keeper of Mamma's Flowers

I had the nicest compliment the other day from my nephew, Toni.  He said, The farm is beginning to look like Grandma and Grandpa are here.

As it must happen to all of us, our parents die.  That was a hard thing for me to accept because although I was getting older in my mind and heart Mom and Dad would always be what they had always been, loving, supportive, helpful and well, just there.  It didn't happen that way.

My sisters and I rallied and supported them, not financially but emotionally and lovingly.  As their needs increased we helped with everything from personal bookkeeping to personal care.  We as a family traveled through a heart condition, a stroke and Alzheimer's.   Both my parents would vocalize their sadness that they needed help and they shouldn't be such a burden.   I simply answered,  You cared for me for eighteen years this is nothing.  Oh, but it was.

I know many of you have lost loved ones and cried because you could not do more to ease the way.  I guess it's under the title of Shit Happens or Simply Life.  You do what you can.

My parents are gone.

We live where they began.  Honoring the land, honoring their wishes.  Never was much of a gardener, not my passion.  I was always a more hands on animal person but I've changed as we all did.  We do what's needed to return the farm to Mom and Dad's time.

My sisters and I are here with family and we are the elder ones.  Through tornadoes, ice storms, personal illnesses and family emergencies we still are here.

I look around  and agree with Toni, even though there are tons of things left to be repaired, upgraded, cultivated, it's beginning to look like Mom and Dad are still here.

There is a peace here that I find no other place.  We try to follow in our parents' foot steps but find it difficult for us.

I feel the joy they felt and see the treasure they saw in this beautiful valley. I know they are watching over us and proud of what we've accomplished by doing it their way.

I smile.  I know Mamma is pleased that I am still tending her flowers.

Sisters, Marbles and Clouds

Mavis and Bonnie had to get reacquainted and that always involves butt sniffing and other things dogs do.  Mavis had not visited for a while so she had to stay on lead.  She's a city dog and doesn't know about chickens and cats.  They had a good time together after they got the important stuff outta the way.

You can certainly tell they are sisters from the back side and from the front.  Good dogs!

Slowly gathering my marbles

soon

I may recover them all.

I'm still working on farm projects.  Guess that will never change but I do remind myself to look up now and then and enjoy the creation around me.

The Sisters' Garden...

Despite the heat,

no rain,

abundant bugs,

and grazing wild life,

the garden still grows.

It is producing,

each plate of food is a hard won victory.

and the bugs,

the critters,

and my sisters still work on the garden.

Jogging The Old Memory Banks...

After reading a wonderfully humourous entry by Journaling Woman about WPP, I had to tell this true tale of mistaken identity....so blame her.

For years my sister, Beverly, lived out of state.  She returned and opened a real estate business, while I still worked for (and always have) the postal service.  We were then about the same weight (before the love of sweets attacked me), same height, same coloring, blue eyes and same length of hair but also very different in appearance.

Beverly began to report problems.  "A big hairy man grabbed me at the meat counter and swung me around and said he was so glad to see me, I said put me down!"  I said, oh, that was Hokie, haven't seen him for awhile, he's back, how is he?  She stiffly said I did not ask.

People would stop her and ask her postal questions.  She went to a furniture store in another town and the guy was following her grinning and just talking.  She asked, do I know you.  He laughed and said why, yes, I sold you two recliners yesterday.  No, she said, I have never been in this store.  When they talked, they discovered it had been me in uniform.  The guy said I thought you were Gail with her clothes on!

I, with my weird sick sense of humor, thought this was all wonderfully funny.  It opened some doors for me, I could do things and deny it!  I could say oh, that was my sister...

I began to feel sorry for her and had a shirt made for her birthday.  Bright red with "I am Beverly" on the front and "I am not Gail" on the back.  Beverly made sure she always wore it to town.

Darn, when I think of the things I could have done...

Last One, I Promise (Fingers Crossed Behind My Back)

A view of the farm from above

I have tortured you with my poetry now I will move on(within this post) with more entertaining(Hopefully!) and quite different thoughts.

To those who know me, you realize I started with an unknown purpose. I felt compelled to be here. Still do not know why. I thought it was to show the progress At The Farm. I have evolved, along with my blog, into something I cannot nor would I dare to name. Thanks, friends, for giving me wings.

The farm is still here. We are still working, though, not outside as much. It is hard to work when your eyes are frozen shut. I shall NOT speak of weather. I SHALL not speak of weather. Just sending warm wishes to all those in the cold.

I seem to have this problem now of waking extremely early. Do I crave the silence of the morning hours when no one else is awake? (I hear Marcy's numerous roosters crowing and think of dumplings, dressing and barbecue.) Do I practice solitude on purpose? Yes and yes. I seem to seek alone time and can think more clearly without the electronic noises that sing the house is awake!

Did I mention, I SHALL NOT SPEAK OF WEATHER?

I have photos from September through now to edit, burn and empty. I avoid this task until my computer moves to a crawl. I love pictures and Marcy keeps me supplied. She apologizes for using the same subject matter, dogs, horses, cows, cats, chickens, and a goat. I do not see the need to apologize. Her photos are great and tell the story while I am slaving at my lucky-to-have-a job-and-a-career heaven. (God, you do know I am joking? I have given You credit for having a sense of humor, so don't make me regret my words)

Beverly and Marcella, my wonderful sisters

More on Marcy...She has retired from many years of teaching those who resisted her wisdom. Marcy grows and plucks and prepares the most wonderful food for all of us to enjoy. Monday mornings I can always count on a very large bag in my car full of delectable things to eat at work.She nurtures us all, including the animals. Marcy is now kindly caring for grandson #3 while his mom is attending college. The wonders this women does for us are amazing. We should all be so lucky to have a sister like this!

Not only am I lucky to have one sister that is amazing, I have another, equally amazing! How lucky is that? Beverly is our doer, our organizer, our workaholic, our wonder! Beverly, who says she has lost her joy, provides us with joy every day. She brings the artist's eye and the dreamer's heart into our midst. An insurmountable task, in my opinion, can be taken by her, broken into little pieces and by doing each piece at a time, she completes the task with love and joy in her heart. Beverly takes my insecurities and molds them and reshapes them. She calls me artist and poet and makes it seem true. Ah, but she is truly the artist. Beverly paints, creates, motivates and encourages us. Her art is seen in every task she does.

Freshly written in a bout of insanity by me. You guessed it...another #%$#*#% poem!!!

~

1/16/2009

~

Please commit me

Behind those lockin' doors

I have heard life is good

Ya don't have to think no more!

~

I want me somodat nut candy

They hand out every day

Give me some of those little dollies

That make the world fade away!

~

Every day's the same

No surprises here

Tell me when to eat and sleep

Tell me what I fear!

~

Please permit me

Behind those locking doors

I have heard life is good

Don't wanta think no more!

Marvelous Monday

Today was hubby's day to check his ticker. He survived the stress test and will know in three days what the result is on other tests. He had a heart stint a few years ago.

I went with him to check out his life insurance.

We went out to lunch, hubby's choice...Kentucky Fried Chicken, then we headed home.

As much as he doesn't want to talk about it, I think he was relieved he did not fall over during the stress test. He did not do as well last year. His mood continued to improve the closer we got to home.

Hubby jumped on the tractor and headed off to bush hog.

I visited with Marcy and found Beverly sorting all of Marcy's seeds she had saved through the growing season. I helped a while then headed back home.

I am thankful today. We have seeds for next season and a tractor operator for this season and next.