What Is Wrong With Me????

I have some wonderful horses.

Even in their winter woolies

and pasture uglies, I think they are fine.

I can't remember the last time I brushed them.

They are my dream and I stay away.  I cannot explain this funk I am in now.  Go ahead, tell me, jerk myself up by the boot straps.  Get over it!  Slap some sense into me, please.

I love to paint yet I do not pick up a brush.  I love to write and this is the extent of it.  I love to read and I cannot concentrate.  I am a worker and yet I am lazy.  My emotions are flat lined. 

Any words of wisdom for this old lady?

The Blues

I walked a mile with Pleasure
She chatted all the way;
And left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow
And n'er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.

Written by Robert Browning Hamilton


Have discovered it is my new meds and these are side effects. Did not take one last night so hopefully the symptoms will go away. Took me three weeks to get here so am hoping it does not take three weeks to recover.

I am totally in numbville after three weeks of these. I knew I was having headaches and muscle aches but did not connect. Just one...several of those days when you don't give a poop about anything.

I WILL SURVIVE!

Skywatch Friday And Post Holiday Depression

WARNING!!!!! This could be depressing
Note that my skies are dark...
refections of my thoughts.

Totally Dark!

The Christmas tree lays in pieces in the living room, not in its box. The ornaments are piled alone. No one seems to care whether they are put away or not, especially me.

My Santas are wondering when they are to be tucked into storage. Sometimes I think they glare at me when I walk by.

I am still in the gown that I wore yesterday. Is this an indication of what lies ahead?

I shame myself for being so ungrateful, but it does no good. The dark clouds are around me and the winds are not blowing.

Sounds annoy me. The incessant (it feels that way, though it is not) barking of dogs, the crowing of roosters, the electronic noises beat into my brain.

I care not whether the clothes are washed, nor the dishes clean, nor if the family is happy with my new turn. I crave compassion but no one seems to know that word.

It is my fault. Although it is not. I can not proctect myself from these dark thoughts and no one sees them but me. Outside I am normal, but inside me, today is dark and sad.

Forgive me!