Why I Am Afraid To Ride...

I think! 

My experiences with horses as a young person were few and far between.  We never had horses, unlike other branches of the family, because "tractors don't eat when they're not working" as my Dad loved to say.

Two of my best friend had horses, I know, now, that they had problems (not my friends, the horses).  My friends had no trouble.  I was not so brave.  I have been raked off by a tree limb at a dead run.  I have been dumped in a briar patch.  I have been riding while running into a barn.  I have ridden a horse with the saddle slipping at a dead run and held on until it stopped...by this time I was hanging under the horses's neck.   I have ridden a horse that rolled in a pond. The only time I had any luck with horses was riding double during the horse events in the county.

My uncle decided since I looked like my cousin we would show matched horses and dress alike for the horse shows.  I knew nothing about horses, Kathy had been riding since birth.  I was yelled at, told sit up, don't do this, don't do that...the horse and I were doing fine but I was not show quality.  Dad said if I wasn't having fun, maybe I shouldn't do it...so I stopped.

As an adult, my best ride was on a cutting horse, while I was pregnant, herding cattle.  It was a good cutting horse and basically all I had to do was hang on.  Now, that was a ride!!!  I loved it.

Two years ago, I rode with a friend.  She rode her mule, I rode her spare horse.  Gentle as a lamb but did not want to cross the creek.  I felt incompetent and, I think, I relayed that to the horse.  My friend finally rode back across and led my horse through the creek.  I just don't understand the language between a horse and a rider.

I have ridden Charme and she wanted to return to the herd.  I have ridden Magic.  Both did well, I am the one with the lack of training. 

I have a round pen and do not even ride there.  I will brush and lead and lunge and love but the riding scares me!  I am a control freak and I just know when I'm on top of a horse I'm not in control!!!

I probably shouldn't even own horses but the love of them has been with me for a life time.

I am at a loss at what to do.  Just keep loving them, I guess.