This N That

 When I came home from work yesterday, I saw my sisters in the garden.  Picking, picking, picking and covering for the impending frost.

We still have goodies every where and it seems too early  but it is October.  That flame-broiled summer we had left us wanting more beautiful days with shorter nights.

Our late garden has been wonderful, full of green beans, peppers, radishes, okra, greens and tomatoes.  Our snow peas are blooming.  We can hope the cover saved them from the frost and we will soon have fresh snow peas.

The Gelbvieh bull Dennis donated to the athletic department left the farm today.  Selling chances on him raised over a thousand dollars for new sports equipment or for what ever the department needs. Now, if I can just get a receipt from the school, that would be a nice tax deduction.

This week at work has been one for the books!  My boss called me personally to chew me about something.  Contradictions have been floating in emails...do this, no say that...and then denial of the first set of instructions.  I have documented each phone call and each email...CYA!  It's not just me, no, I am not alone with this...we are all affected, one way or the other...just makes for a good week.  Today is the first day of the new week, so I am hoping things will improve.

I have an extra foot ball player this weekend, a friend of Andrew's and Jake will be here later to spend the day.  I am not sure what Papa and all the boys will do while I HAVE TO WORK but I am sure they will have fun.

Off to the salt mines!

Rambling With No Direction

It's Sunday, the day I usually reconnect but my wiring seems to be off today.  I woke early and stood on the porch facing dawn, trying to decide the direction of my morning.  The dogs gathered in anticipation of a great adventure but after a while, I turned and retreated, leaving behind the disappointed pack.

I am questioning my direction, my presense, my purpose, I suppose as we all do time to time.  I need to recenter and find something that will ground me, something to show me there is a reason.

This may have something to do with my week.  Having a whole week off and wasting it with nonfulfilling actions.  A whole week and I have accomplished nothing except run here and run there, taking care of business. This was a week full of people, full of messes and full of questions.  I shall return to work with no relief from my dread and dislike of working.

I wrote and added two new pages to my blog, The Truth About Me and A Blog Evolution,  then spent as much time wondering why.

I am having dreams and they are unsettling in nature.  I remember these only shortly after I wake, just enough to wonder if they have meaning or are they just a rehashing of my awake time.

Two visits to the medical facility and other than halting my infection, I have learned nothing.  My unusual change in weight and form has them fascinated.  They ask for a cat scan, but I don't do barium.  I explain that this week in unusual and I cannot come visit when they want me, but this does not register.  I return home to two messages, we have scheduled an ultra sound instead of a CAT scan and follow-up...hey, I told you not to do this!  I can not schedule a day off!!  I will tell YOU when I can come but this does not fit with their world, oh, well, it has to fit with mine. It made them angry when I cancelled but there is no choice now that will please them.

I am reminded of the dream I had two days before, two days before we talked of CAT scans and ultra sounds and things I've never met.  I had written this little snippet down and dated it...strange.  Now I look for it and the paper reads, "Ultrasound my tummy, take a pictue with a zoom.  I feel it growin' inside, portender of certain doom."...and I do not understand the writing of it.

So today I question if this time, this moment is where I am supposed to be.  If so why am I so empty of plans and ambitions.  I have the world at my door step and I have barred  the door.