Things I Thought I Would Never Confess...

I used to bite my toe nails!  That's right, don't have to read it again. As a younger more nimble me I was the Toe Nail Biter of the family. Bit my fingernails too but that didn't seem to get as much attention.

We traveled a lot with Dad's job.  I went missing one time.  Mom panicked but soon found me with a pack of dogs in the nearby park.  The family joke after that was, Need Gail? Call the dogs.

We once lived in a two story house.  I had an inflatable toy horse.  I spent hours throwing it over the balcony and racing downstairs and outside to see if I could catch it!  I don't know why no one stopped me.  I guessed they thought I would figure it out soon enough.  I kept thinking if I just run a little faster...guys, I was only three!

I got a whipping from Mom when she found out I knew how to read.  I didn't know I could read!  I had two older sisters and I guess I just picked it up at the young age of four.  I remember going to the post office and thinking why does that say "off ice"?  It was warm weather.

Our Christmas rule was even if you knew what the gift was, you never told.  One gift for my sister was wrapped in thin tissue paper.  I'm holding it, pressing the paper, sounding the words out loud....Bugs Bunny Cartoon...Wham!!! I was getting a whipping before I knew it.  I had broken the rule!!!!

I would hide in the closet and eat clear nail polish. Dip the brush and let it slide between my closed teeth getting every drop.  No one knew. I just ate a little at a time.  I finally confessed to Mom about forty years after the fact.

I got a paddling in second grade for talking in class...not me!!!  Yes, it was and the teacher missed breaking the paddle on the desk.  Lucky me.

My second paddling was not a miss.  A specially chosen child each day got to carry the milk for our break to the class room.  I had never been chosen.  We all knew the first one in from recess got to carry the milk.  I got there early because I wanted to carry milk so badly...and that's when my third grade teacher paddled me for coming in too early.  I'm getting mixed messages here, lady!

I had snakes for pets but could only keep them if they were confined and that confinement stayed at the barn.  One rule right at the top of THE RULES was no snakes in the house.  Mom wasn't home.
What harm was there in that?  I had it in a jar...welllllllllllll, the jar tipped over.  Never caught the snake and never confessed that one...Sorry, Mom!

I have a male cousin my age...nope, don't even go to the dirty thoughts!  He was always trying to out climb, out run, out play, out wrestle me.  He was such a weak child.  I put one of my dresses on him. He fought pretty good that time but I still won.  We had an old Kodak box camera, yep, took his picture.

After his parents divorced I did not see him for years.  He, then in the military service, showed up where I worked. He mentioned the dress and how he tried so long to overcome that humiliation as a child.  I said, I was sorry.  We laughed.  I think I could still out wrestle him!

Fire Flies

Fire flies
Light the night
Blinking signals
Left and right

Sparking memories
Of captured lights
Sitting jarred
Through out the night

A childhood reminder
They light my dark
Come morning
Releasing the sparks

Another night
Another game
I caught them again
Were they the same?

As a child
I never thought
Capturing the lights
Would have a cost

Never Been Much For Dolls...

I did have a favorite whose name I can't remember.  She was my favorite because she could float.  She was always naked, not sure what happened to her clothes but she always had a rope around her neck.  Our favorite game was chase the floating doll in the creek while holding the rope so she would not out race me.  Kept me entertained for hours.

I never asked for dolls.  I asked for stick horses, stock trucks full of animals and real cap guns with holsters like they wore on westerns.
 
One Christmas I received a big red wagon, Radio Flyer, I think...and a doll.  I did give her a name, Belinda. She was a big baby and she had clothes.  Belinda was just a simple sit up or lay down baby with painted hair but she sure could ride in that wagon.

Helen, my dog, and I spent hours racing Belinda in the Radio Flyer down the hill.  Belinda always won and never fell out.  Helen and I didn't care who won.  We would pull Belinda in that big red wagon up the hill time after time.

Belinda never smiled nor laughed but Helen and I had a good enough time for all of us.

Happy Weekend.

It's Not Flip Flop Weather...

and the briers tore my feet.  It was hard to move through but I was revisiting the past and some memories.

Imagine the brush gone, the humus hollowed out from this area.  Now imagine a real top of an old wood cook stove and old dishes lining the rocks.  This was my "playhouse".

Within the semi-circle of ledge rock, I had a whole house.  The entry was where the small cedar now grows.  The rocks were swept clean and the hollow was leveled flat with hours of dirt work by a child who could not yet read.  Feeling like I was miles from home Mom could check on me from the kitchen window and let me continue to imagine great adventures. My first dog Helen was with me every step of the way.

Today I had company.

The girls explored my old hang out

I believe it passed inspection.

It also made me want to clear again

so my grandchildren

can have great adventures 

in a special place

full of old memories.

Going Back

Looking back, I can see I have always had sun grins.  Funny how you notice things like that.  The first picture is my first dog, Helen and Mom.  The top picture is me.  The third is me and some one I don't remember.

Helen was given to me by Helen, therefore, her name.  Mom said we got into trouble one day for pulling all the tissues out of the box.  I was putting them back in and Helen was helping too.  She would carry one over and stuff it in the box opening with her nose.  I wonder if Mom used those tissues after that?

I was in trouble again, who me, I never did anything wrong to get into trouble!  I think it was playing in the clay with my good clothes on, Mom was coming after me with a switch.  Helen stood between me and Mom and growled!  Mom was so shocked that I missed that whipping.

Helen lived to about sixteen.  She was worn out.  Sometimes, Helen would cry when she moved.  I was home alone, when she started crying again.  It was awful. 

I called the neighbor and asked will you shoot my dog?  Terry came and he was shocked when I handed him a gun.  He said I thought you wanted me to give it a shot.  No, I said, Helen is suffering and I can't stand it any more.  Can you put her down? 

I had already dug a grave in the barn lot and found something to wrap her in.  I told Terry I had taken her out there and said my goodbyes.  If you can wrap her and just throw enough dirt over her so I can't see, I can finish.

Of course, the tears are rolling.  I cover my head with a pillow and never heard the shot.  Terry came back, handed me the gun and said it's over, Gail.  She went easy.  I hugged him with tears flooding and went to the barn lot and cried on Helen's grave until Mom and Dad came home.

I told them. I know they were proud, although they never said a word. Dad's hand on my shoulder and Mom's sad eyes said it all.  Helen was not suffering any more.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done,  making that decision.

NOTE:  I know this may sound harsh to some but the times were different.  You only used a vet if it was an animal that made you money, like a work horse or a cow.  Dogs were special but they only got rabies shots.  If your dog died, you got another one and life went on.  After all, it was just a dog.