All Is Well?

Mindlovemisery's Menagerie-Collage
and
Poets United:  Poetry Pantry

A past summer day
of fireflies apples and daisies
does not cover
the fallen stars of our nation

Some wear many bracelets
but dedicated to none
we swirl and twist our causes
careful to keep them secret

While we still refuse
to remove the glasses
those rose colored glasses
that erroneously confirm
All is well

Folly

For Sunday Scribblings 2 and Magpie Tales with Tess Kincaid

The folly of secret keeping

bursting forth

from sealed lips

Sworn secrets

rush

into open air

Things I Thought I Would Never Confess...

I used to bite my toe nails!  That's right, don't have to read it again. As a younger more nimble me I was the Toe Nail Biter of the family. Bit my fingernails too but that didn't seem to get as much attention.

We traveled a lot with Dad's job.  I went missing one time.  Mom panicked but soon found me with a pack of dogs in the nearby park.  The family joke after that was, Need Gail? Call the dogs.

We once lived in a two story house.  I had an inflatable toy horse.  I spent hours throwing it over the balcony and racing downstairs and outside to see if I could catch it!  I don't know why no one stopped me.  I guessed they thought I would figure it out soon enough.  I kept thinking if I just run a little faster...guys, I was only three!

I got a whipping from Mom when she found out I knew how to read.  I didn't know I could read!  I had two older sisters and I guess I just picked it up at the young age of four.  I remember going to the post office and thinking why does that say "off ice"?  It was warm weather.

Our Christmas rule was even if you knew what the gift was, you never told.  One gift for my sister was wrapped in thin tissue paper.  I'm holding it, pressing the paper, sounding the words out loud....Bugs Bunny Cartoon...Wham!!! I was getting a whipping before I knew it.  I had broken the rule!!!!

I would hide in the closet and eat clear nail polish. Dip the brush and let it slide between my closed teeth getting every drop.  No one knew. I just ate a little at a time.  I finally confessed to Mom about forty years after the fact.

I got a paddling in second grade for talking in class...not me!!!  Yes, it was and the teacher missed breaking the paddle on the desk.  Lucky me.

My second paddling was not a miss.  A specially chosen child each day got to carry the milk for our break to the class room.  I had never been chosen.  We all knew the first one in from recess got to carry the milk.  I got there early because I wanted to carry milk so badly...and that's when my third grade teacher paddled me for coming in too early.  I'm getting mixed messages here, lady!

I had snakes for pets but could only keep them if they were confined and that confinement stayed at the barn.  One rule right at the top of THE RULES was no snakes in the house.  Mom wasn't home.
What harm was there in that?  I had it in a jar...welllllllllllll, the jar tipped over.  Never caught the snake and never confessed that one...Sorry, Mom!

I have a male cousin my age...nope, don't even go to the dirty thoughts!  He was always trying to out climb, out run, out play, out wrestle me.  He was such a weak child.  I put one of my dresses on him. He fought pretty good that time but I still won.  We had an old Kodak box camera, yep, took his picture.

After his parents divorced I did not see him for years.  He, then in the military service, showed up where I worked. He mentioned the dress and how he tried so long to overcome that humiliation as a child.  I said, I was sorry.  We laughed.  I think I could still out wrestle him!

Secrets

The ground held secrets
Shivering  in rows
Packed
With deep roots
Counting time
Mending
Planning to heal
Gathering strength
For the time
They burst forth
With a growl
Knowing secrets
Are never hidden
From Heaven

Written for Poets United  Imagirary Gardens With Real Toads and The Sunday Whirl

Old Baggs and Witches...

both think I'm special!  I was awarded by both ladies and am deeply honored. Linda and Tamara are both very unique talented ladies that I am very proud to have met through the wondrous world of blogdom.  The blogs linked to above are interesting, funny, informative and never, ever boring, so drop by and tell them Gail sent you.

I am supposed to tell three things about myself...if I remember correctly, and then pass the award to more well-deserving bloggers.  Not to sound conceited, but all blogs I read are well deserving of this award so pick it up and run with it and my blessing.

Three things, mmmm, what have I not told about my strange and varied life?   This is the difficult part...three things you don't know about me...I have told all my deep dark secrets, you have seen me in underwear, you have listened to me complain...there is not much left to reveal.

One...I use to dream of being a published author.  I guess, in a way, I am...I blog.

Two...I put lotion on my feet, at night, every night, before I go to bed.  This strange habit began when I was in labor with my first child and has continued non-stop for thirty-eight years.  That's a lot of lotion.

Three...I have absolutely no patience with liars or with being called a liar.  That pretty much rules out any relationships with politicians.  I guess that is because of my raising.  Dad would never tolerate a lie, said there was never a reason to lie...and also taught me, a person's word is his bond.

...and I am adding a fourth.  I enjoy a variety of people.  I am very open minded to other life styles and belief systems.  I  love to laugh and make people laugh. I do lean toward dark humor...if you haven't noticed that already.

Oh, and if you have any questions, no matter how strange you may think they are, ASK THEM!  I think this would a great way to know each other better.  When I answer your questions, I will link back to your blog and the world will become even smaller as we meet new friends.

Secrets

I have tried so carefully to guard them, to stop you from knowing. I am sure you have some idea about me. Having enjoyed many posts with Ten Things You Do Not Know About Me, I now present mine!

#1 I was born writing. Every time I clean a paper area, I find snippets of writing. Some I throw away, others I rejoice in their finding. My greatest wish would be that the snippets could be combined into a treasure like Margaret Mitchell's. It is amazing to note the changes in my life through my writings. I have written journals through the years and have destroyed them! If the piece makes it through my several bouts of thinning, it is copied into a hard back journal. It is amazing that I can read the stages of my life in these writings.

#2 I have a very different(sick) sense of humor. The things I find hilarious are just sometimes plain sick...but I still laugh. I like to play jokes, I like to scare people, I enjoy teasing. My husband fits right in...he has saran wrapped the toilet seat, oiled the commode ring, and put duct tape in my underwear! I topped him on that one and used clear double sided tape in his, like no one is going to see Duct tape in your underwear as you are pulling them on.

#3 I like to create... The stranger, the better. I have "Caution! Hard Hat Area" painted on the floor of my closet! Another Day Another Load is painted(again on the floor) all glittery and quite wonderfully, in front of my laundry section. The ceiling of my laundry area is old rusty barn tin, yes, exactly what I wanted. The floor is wooden but painted to look like mortared stone work.

#4 I like to paint...I would not call it art. I, much to my sister's chagrin, paint over old canvases of mine to paint another! I have only been painting about eight years because I never thought I could. To me painting is not the finished project but the act of doing. I let the paints take over and am not aware until it's finished. I first started painting on cardboard and wood or whatever was available. When I got my first real canvas, it was so white and pretty, I could not paint! I did not want to mess it up.

#5 I like horses...whoa, big surprise there! I have always wanted horses but never allowed to have one cause tractors don't eat when they are not working. This is not a secret, so let me think, what about this might you not know. I wrote a poem about wanting to be a horse when I was very young.

#6 I have had a Strange Light experience...recently. Three in the morning, watching the two planet/stars that will not be seen again with the naked eye for any years in my lifetime, a light appeared. Okay, so is it someone spotlighting, someone trespassing, a helicopter looking for dope...none of the above. No noise of engines or of anything reaches my ears. The layout of our land does not allow for what this light was doing. I could not find the source. It was the brightest light I have ever seen, a halogen would be a match light, to this thing. It grew, I am still trying to see where it is coming from, not from above, no sounds, in fact, the night had become supernaturally quiet. The Hill behind was dark but from that hill to the trees beside the house, it was light. It was a horizontal light because the back of the trees were bathed in light while the front was buried in shadow. From the tops of the trees to the ground I could see things better than in daylight. The distance covered with light toward me would have been a five minute walk. There was no end to the width, that reached over to the next hill. The light had not moved but rather grown from my right to my left. I do not know the time that lapsed and considered searching for the source. I stood in awe of this wondrous light for an unknown time. I thought I must wake my husband. When he came out, the light was gone and it was so dark again. It was hard to imagine the acreage that had been lighted. I suspect my husband thought I had jumped over the edge. He did call me the next day from work and say many people had reported the same light in several COUNTIES and the answer was a helicopter...right!!! I make no claims to what I saw. I watched and enjoyed the wonder of it and gave it no name.

#7 I believe pets are here for our convenience and not for theirs. I love, I care, I cuddle, I spoil but they will listen or die!!! No, I'm kidding on the last part. Guess this has something to do with being raised on a farm. If a dog catches chickens, it dies. They will listen to me! Now if I had been that way with my children...

#8 I believe there is a God, a Higher Being, Someone greater than the combined total of us that is in charge. I am closer to God in the woods than I am in church. I try to demonstrate my faith in my daily living. I admire and try to practice the beliefs of caring for the land and it will care for you. I judge no one in their beliefs. That is the wonder of our life, we are free to believe and speak...Thank God!

#9 I now admire the people that have done this before me even more. This is not easy. Bearing your soul in fear that some how they will no longer listen to your words.

#10 I am drawn to darkness. I love the writings of those considered insane. I have found in all that darkness there are bits of light that I need to see.

Now, will you still visit with me?

Secrets

Some babies did not make it, I discovered 48 years after my birth.

My parents married at the end of the second War To End All Wars. My father was there from the beginning to end and was hungry for family life. My mother was in love with the uniform.

At eighteen, Mom was dreaming of a family. At twenty-eight, Dad was eager to comply.

The family came...three girls in eight years. I always wondered about our age difference but never asked.

We are grown now. Mom is gone and we have since lost Dad to Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's is not pretty but it has a way of breaking secret oaths.

There were others. My sisters and I had siblings that we knew nothing about.

As Dad cried reliving the past, my sisters and I understood. We named the grief we had glimpsed in our parents' eyes.

Our siblings, bundled in hand made quilts, were each laid quietly to rest where we never plowed. They were never named and never mentioned.

It was the way of the times.

Today I bring flowers and say "Hello, I am your little sister."