all my troubles seemed so far away..." Today that song really tells where I am right now. Went to the Barren Fork Creek yesterday during lunch to try and get my head around all the changes that are coming.
It helped to leave the office. It helped me get a plan and the order of it.
As you know Hubby now has an ICD. With my limited understanding, it is a combination pace-maker and a shock you back from death thing. After reading the information there will be many things he cannot do. For one, he can't linger in the Wal Mart theft detector doorway. I can see us now...I'll push the buggy through while yelling at him to RUN!! He can no longer play with magnets nor get his cell phone closer than six inches to this new contraption. It says some appliances may affect it but does not tell which ones. Do we test each appliance? Here, Honey, try the toaster...see if it kicks you to the floor. This almost could be fun if it weren't so sad. I could really having him hopping chasing him with my electric mixer.
Enough sick humor.
Now we/I have to work on disability while no money is coming in from him. I can't see that they won't approve it since Doc says, besides a heart transplant this is the only thing that will keep him alive. But I worry, about his health, about our ability to survive without his income, about lots of things that I never talk about. They say it takes at least six months for SS Disability to be approved.
Also, the general public thinks it is good news that no post offices will close. It's not good news. They are cutting the hours to some offices. One of which is mine. I can retire but I feel I am being forced out. So now instead of 3500 offices closing, 30,000 postmasters will face RIF...reduction in force. If only Congress has acted...Enough said...I will be retiring the last of July. There goes my working paycheck!
Well, today I have a day off. Updated my Driver's license to get my new physical address on it. Went to Batesville and ordered a copy of my social security card. I lost it somewhere, goodness, knows where. I have the one with my maiden name, I have the one from when I first married but could not find my newest one. The one I requested years ago when I realized my name did not match my employment records. I have always gone by my middle name. When I completed the postal application a hundred years ago, there was this spot that said if you lie, fines and imprisonment were promised. I wrote my full name and thus 21 years after I was born I became Sheila Gail.
I also treated myself to a hair cut with the last of the money in my purse.
I am learning all kinds of new ways to be had. I am learning many papers must be filled out just to retire. Books to fill out, I should say. I have learned my life insurance all these years is term to 70. Why did I not know these things? My employers never gave me a copy of the policy. Just every paycheck, there went my money labeled life insurance.
Now, you understand why I had to go to the beauty of the creek at lunch. I had to breath clean air and talk to no one. I had to try and relax and tell myself this will all work out.
And when I came back from lunch break
the hay was moved in the field
and the birds were dining.
21 comments:
Life is so full of changes and I have learned as we get older they are harder to accept and scarier.
Things will work out for you I am sure of it because you are a strong woman who will do whatever it takes to make them work out. Hang on it'll get better soon.
Blessings
Marilyn
Many things change as we grow older. We find out that out governments don't give a rats a_ss about seniors - and yep, you can retire and feel forced out and better still life insurance you paid into all those years stops at age 70 and for only $100 more a month, you can keep it going. But you know what, you will get past all this, Gail, cause you do what you gotta do. You are one of those that survive life's pitfalls. My Mom always said, when one door closes, another opens - and I have found this to be very true over the years. Hang in there kiddo and it will all turn around.
p.s. I'm figuring you danced in the rain naked, cause its raining here. ha,ha,ha
Oooops, forgot to say how interesting and scary that ICD is, with all the bells and whistles going off in doorways, etc. It would be nice to know WHAT appliances may affect Tractor Man before he gets the big kick to the floor. You'll be OK Gail, cause even on a bad day, you find humor. Take care and hi to TM :)
your angst is palpable. i understand the worry - from all angles.
I think maybe it's not such a bad thing that you are being forced to retire as long as your retirement package is adequate. That, added to your husband's disability payment, should be enough income to live on, I hope. Hey, I'm just trying to see the glass half full. It's too bad about the nsurance policy. Is there any kind of solution for this?
It's quite a blow to realize that your husband's health is in such dire straights. It must be a tough thing to live with. It's too bad that they don't tell you which appliances to be careful of. I'm sure you can research this, though.
Hang in there, kiddo. A window somewhere else will be opened. xox
*hugs* ♥
My heart is hurting for you and with you. blessings, marlene
Pray, keep putting one foot in front of the other and pray some more. Hugs from a friend : )
I'm glad your little respite helped you deal with the stress-inducing matters in you life. This is a very scary time for us 'oldsters'.... and for all of those youngsters who can't find employment.
Best of luck. (((hugs)))
gail . . . my best advice . . . not to give any
. . . having said that . . . . take one step at a time. . . .
having lived through my world being rock bottom and then tossed upside down . . . my truth was. . . . things worked out . . . one step at a time . . . love lynne . . .
The beginning of this post made me laugh I do like your sence of humor we are the same that way to but the end of this post made me feel sad that all your hubby and yourself are going through this ruff patch . I do hope it all goes in your favor and all is well my friend , just remember if ya need some one to vent at or just be there in the cyber world you have my e-mail and all these wonderful followers to help you out some . We are here for ya girl !
Big hug. You are walking in some of my footsteps 6 years ago. We lived 1 year with no income. Sold every thing we had of value. if I could give any advice it would be just accept this is temporary. And We had to learn to live on very little money.
I can't imagine how you are feeling right now- it sounds overwhelming. Give it some time and lots of prayer!
Oh Gail I can see why you had to go to the creek that is what I do in crisis and you surely have your share. I do hope you can get through this with out to much worry, what am I saying you will worry all the time. I am not sure what to say Gail my prayers are with you and HUGS sorry that is the best I can do. Keep going to the creek and keep writing it always seems to make things feel better if only for a moment. HUGS. B
I really like SaucyKods comment. B
Ah yes, when one door closes another slams in your face - I know all about that! Hope things work out. Keep the dark humour, it works!
Oh my sweet friend. I bet you feel like your the one zapped to the floor right now.
I have confidence that it will all work out though. God tell us He'll take care of those birds in the field (your last pic) and how much more does He love us??? One thing's for certain...He will take care of us.
That doesn't make the uncertainty of what's to come any more comfortable. Feel my prayers sweetie!!!
I do love your 'sick' humor. Ya crack me up girl.
God bless and have a beautiful day talkin' to the trees!!! Heeehehe!
I'm praying that you will land on your feet.
And that you will be able to feel some peace while you're doing it.
Not easy. Not easy at all.
But I have faith in you.
=)
Wow! You do have a lot on your plate. I hope you get it all straightened out soon. It takes a very powerful medical magnet to deactivate an AICD, and it must be taped on the device. It will not deactivate the pacemaker part.
One day at a time..and if that doesn't work one minute or hour at a time.
RIF I hope you get a benefit package that you can live with.
Get that hubbies disability reams of paper in the works..I have heard it can take a long time.
I am thinking good thoughts for you! :)
As I said "you have a full plate"..
I would say some nonsensical thing like "when one door closes, another door opens" but if I remember right..I almost slugged someone who told me that once! However, the fact is, it's true.
Having your world turned upsidedown is not a fun thing to go through.
However, I can promise you this. Your ends will all come out even. Things just have a way of working out so take a deep breath..and let it all go. Blah, blah, blah.. :)
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