a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Mag 137-Draw A Fork

Our weekly writing challenge from Tess Kincaid at Magpie Tales is always a delight where we have to match our words to her choice of picture.  Give it a try or just read those who entered.  Either way you will not be disappointed nor bored.
It Must Be Time For Lunch Now, 1979, by Francesca Woodman
I must remember
Draw a fork
Draw a fork
If I draw a knife
They take me away
Where there aren't even spoons

It must be time for lunch now
My stomach growls in unison
With the voices
I must remember
Draw a fork
Draw a fork

The ones who take my knives
Do not know the damage a fork can do
I must remember
Draw a fork
Draw a fork

Through the pill fog I know
This innocent fork can end the nightmare
But I cannot give my secret away
I must remember
Draw a fork
Draw a fork.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Sometimes You Bend, Sometimes You Break...

Saturday Centus prompt by Jenny Matlock  

Every week Ms Jenny gives us a writing prompt.  The rules are the same only the prompt changes. 

PROMPT: "Sometimes you bend. Sometimes you break."
WORD COUNT - Not to exceed 106 (including the prompt)

PICTURES - Any Additional

Once upon an autumn day
Harry Tarantula came to play
Border Collie noticed the arrival
Didn’t consider it a threat to survival
As he reared to scare her away
Lil turned another way
The lesser experienced arrived on the scene
Had a discussion and thought Harry was mean
Lil tried to convince them to just stay away
But it’s a danger, Lil said, “No way”!
They jumped back with fear
While Lil just watched with upright ears
Her job was to train the upcoming team
"You need to assess what’s good and what’s mean.
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you break
Important thing is don’t make mistakes."

Planting The Carpet....

Remember when I talked about Dating The Plywood?  Well, Tractor Man has not finished that project so I decided to attempt it myself.  After removing the ancient chipboard I balanced to measure an inset and so began the much delayed job of replacing ancient chipboard with plywood. 

My main tools were a pry bar, a hammer, a flat edge screw driver and a pair of tongs.  After removing the ancient carpet from said inset most of the chipboard just dropped.  That's how old it was.  Carpet was all that kept us from falling through in some places.  Lucky this was an extra room and not used much.

You may wonder why I chose these tools.  The hammer and pry bar were used to remove the tack board and the remaining chip board.  The staples were pried up using same tools or with hammering the straight edge screw driver under and prying them out.  The tongs???  To pick up the chip board that had fallen under the floor so I wouldn't have to crawl under there and get even more dirty.

I did not ask for help but Tractor Man cannot stay away when someone is working.  He stood behind me a while (which drives me #### crazy).  After listening to advice on what better tools I should be using I left the room. 

Returning I discovered poor Tractor Man straddling a two by six within the hole I had opened.  I asked politely what happened.  He informed me he slipped and fell and his toes were not touching the ground. I tried not to laugh.  I really did then I offered to help him up.  He decided he might just rest there a minute before climbing out.

I continued to work and Tractor Man brought me loads of power tools to make my life easier.  What he didn't know was I wanted the simplicity the peacefulness of doing it by hand.

I was ready for sawing and placement. He helped then left the room.  I do only one area at a time finish that and move to another.  Inset finished and solid, move to next spot.  Bigger space, pieces tonged into old dog food bags ready to dispose.  Replacement piece measured three times and cut once.

Tractor Man is just dieing to do something.  He had not done any of this since April but now that I am doing it, he's here.

I decided to remove all the carpet and padding and see what I had to repair.  After dragging all this onto the porch, we decided to fill a bad wash with this biodegradable trash.
The bucket runneth over 
Lizzy helped me drive the Ranger
and approved my careful placement
after I had thrown dead limbs and rocks
into the gully.
The old carpet will bring new life
feeding the soil and preventing soil erosion.
Dog approved, the gully is now a nice seeded spot
for late fall and early spring grass.
Now back to that floor to be finished
another day.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Cleaning The Junk Drawer...

Admit it.  We all have one.  You know the drawer where every thing goes that we don't want to put away or don't know what is.  Yep, that drawer!  In most of my homes, it has always been in the kitchen.  Here I have more than one.  There's one in the mill chest, one in the kitchen and one in my sitting area.

I've been working on one in the kitchen today.  Inherited from my parents added to by all of us, it was quite the drawer.  I wish I had thought to take pictures before I began but don't worry I have other drawers waiting for the camera.
The Drawer after two thirds is gone!

I neatly gathered all my empty plastic containers, labeled them, nails, screws, bolts, washers, brackets and water things...things that have to do with plumbing or repairing anything that carries water.  I always have one labeled Things I Do Not Know. These containers will be combined with or join the ones already carefully labeled in my tool-construction-things you always need-closet. 

It's not completed yet, too many interruptions, like laundry, dishes, feeding the guys, but I'm closer than I was.  I now have enough keys to be a janitor.  Who knows what they fit but I can snap them on my belt and feel important anytime I need an extra picker-upper.
The drawer next in line.

Thursday, September 27, 2012


One of my slap it on for the love of paint
The whole painting
and a part
The complete painting sold today.
Just no accounting for people's taste.

Thursday's Things In A Row

Share your own rows

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Bear

Stitchin ByThe Lake wrote an interesting bear story earlier in the week.  She was lucky since it was not a face to face encounter.

That bear story reminded me of one from many years ago.

A couple lived in a house visible from the highway.  Not really isolated but still considered rural.  It was apple season and they had many fruit trees.  Every day that would peel and core their apples in preparation to preserve them for winter food.  Each day they would take their peels and cores outside to the back of their property so the wild animals could feast on the remains of the process.

The couple noticed the peels and cores would disappear over night and ASSUMED it was rabbits and deer enjoying their own personal Farmer's Market.

Since the couple had many different kinds of apples the harvest was spread over about a month.  The apples at last were through.  It had been a bumper crop.  Only a  few remained in the house for them to snack on and the rest had been processed.

One night very soon after the apple harvest, there was a knocking on their back porch.  Since it was unusual for someone to come to the back door they looked out.  There stood a big black bear (black bears are not REALLY big but they are when they're knocking on your door)  The family banged some pans together and ran him away.

The next night same time, more knocking.  It was the bear again.  He was angry there were no apple treats for him and he could smell the few remaining in the house.

The third night the bear was beating on the whole back wall of the porch shaking the house as if he thought apples would fall out. 

Needless to say these people and the bear did not develop a friendship.  They called Arkansas Game and Fish who used a huge cage trap to catch the bear for relocation. 

The bait they used...apples, of course!!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Oh, The Embarrassment....

It was a cool moonlit night,
 (I always wanted to start a story like that).
We arrived at the dreaded WALMART my list in hand we parted at the door.  Hubby asked, Where are you going?  I said grab your own cart and we will meet. 
I speed shop.  I had a list.  I don't dawdle I get it done.  Then I began to look for the lost males.  No luck so I checked out thinking maybe they were at the truck.  Wrong guess, you would think it would be.  I had the list they were just shopping.
I thought they would stay together.  Again I am wrong. Now both of these gentlemen have cell phones.  I don't.  I have pushed my full cart to the truck and no one was there.  I don't have a key so I push the heavy laden cart back inside.  No sight of them anywhere along the check out line.  I ask a employee if they could page someone.  Nope, can't leave this spot.  I said, OK, no problem but I bet my face said different words.  Shortly the employee asked the name again.
I spy Hubby looking lost, tagged him and he called Andrew on his cell.  Andrew said, "That was so not cool, Papa!!!"  Hubby is puzzled because he doesn't know what is going on.  I had Andrew paged!!!
It was so much fun I may page him every trip.
Yep, sounds like a good plan to me.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Mag 136 Flying Down

It's time for our weekly challenge to look at a picture and tell a story in any form that we hope will knock your socks off.  The Mag comes courtesy of Tess Kincaid at Magpie Tales  One rule-keep it clean.  Below is our picture challenge for this week.
Stop by The Mag and read some tales.
Flying Down, 2006, by David Salle


She lost her pants

When she bet the duck

Against the airplane

She didn’t really care

As she bared her behind

Only the ghost danced

Inviting her to test his couch

She had no choices

Since the world she knew

Was circling the drain.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

SC 126 Blah, Blah, Blah...

Oh, how I wait for Ms Jenny's writing challenge each week!  Loads of fun with few rules.  You must  use the number of words assigned, including the prompt words.  You can even add your own pictures.  We can never plan ahead because the prompt is assigned on Saturday.

Join the creative fun at Saturday Centus.

She talked all the time. He wanted silence.

He had tried all the standard things to ignore her, tune her out, daydream about something else. He listened to her incessant talk, useless words she thought he wanted to hear.

Did she really think he wanted to know that the second cousin on her mother’s side had to be committed to the loony bin?

He had explained how the noises, her very words, drilled through his head but she never listened.

The first strike of the hammer slowed her words. The second made them sound like blah, blah, blah. The third finally brought silence.

Rain Makes It All Look Good...

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Thursday's Things In A Row With Pat....

Frets, strings and birthday wishes all in a row.
Yes, it's a cake from Andrew's Mom, a Gibson guitar
with Kyle and Andrew.
Enjoy the rows
ignore the clutter.
Check out A View FromThe Edge for other rows.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Interesting Data...

I've been attempting to entertain for a few years now.  People come, people go.  I have endured.  I have reached 401 here and 199 on Familiar Spirit    Low numbers to some but to me these are whopping numbers, amazing milestones I thought I would never reach.  When I began I stressed about it, I took comments personal, then I loosened up and had some fun. 

All in all it has been and continues to be loads of fun.  I have written some good stuff, told some secrets and written some pretty crappy stuff.  I hope it has been entertaining.

Having been neglectful in my reading I plan to remedy that as soon as I get my s**t together.  Now what are the chances of that????

I was just viewing some stats. I discovered I was featured on uglystat and also some place called Gay Tony.  Amazing!  Anyone reading this from there, speak up, I just gotta know how the heck you found me.

Eleven countries have viewed me so that may be why they think the great USA is going down the toilet.

Anyway, I said all that to say this.  THANK YOU.

To celebrate, I am having a giveaway October 1st just because that is an easy day for me to remember.  All you have to do is tell me you want to enter on this post and be a follower.  I'm not sure what will be in the box of prizes but I do know it will be different than any package you have ever received.

The Size Of The Mountain...

 and the size of White River
made me realize how small I really am.

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