a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Nothing To Do With Dogs...

but Maggie Mae is just so darned pretty, I had to share.  She stands quietly waiting on her master as I did yesterday...the ending was different for me and hubby.  I left him behind.

It was a long delayed visit to Wal Mart...I can't believe I use to enjoy going there.  The toothpaste tube had been rolled to the end, the laundry was being done with dish soap and the dogs were hungry so I had to go.

Hubby had planned to go but he fell asleep while I was showering.  His recliner is installed with a nap gas that automatically dispenses every time he reclines. I am not waking the bear, so I head out alone.

I think there is a  Wal Mart rule that people must park where you need to look...are they physic?  Do they say, okay, here she comes, let me stand here for twenty minutes to decide when green bean I want or which vitamin is better.  I am always aware of the other person and park my buggy to accommodate the traffic but many are not that aware.  It really makes me hope they are not driving through when I leave the parking lot.

Okay, Gail, hush, you pulled weeds a few days ago, don't let more sprout!

I have a system.  I have a list.  I power shop.  That list is in the order of the store and section and I can fly through Wal Mart in twenty minutes and fill that buggy full.  The longest amount of time I spent in any one spot, not counting the times I waited for that spot, were the dog collar section.  Ki-Anne is growing and her collar is adjusted every few days but I bought no collar, nor leash, nor a crate ($69).  We are just gonna have to wing it with what we have.

Now shopping with hubby is a whole other game.  He stays with me as long as he can stand it then he hears automotive or fishing or hunting calling him.  He says, I'm gonna run over here and get...Okay.

Got your cell phone.


Got it on.


Where you going?

I am headed to shampoos, then cleaning supplies, then food.

Okay, I'll catch up.

WELL, it never fails, no matter what size the store is, he loses me.  That is what he says, every time, I lost you!  I remind him there are signs at the end of each isle stating what is on that isle...but I've been looking all over for you.  What's the big deal, I think, you've found me, but he always has to say it one more time, "I lost you!"

I really prefer for him to find me, at the front, waiting for him to carrry his arm load of whatever he could not live without.  If he "finds" me in the meat section, it is over with.  Giant family packages of meat are heaped into the buggy because it looks soooooooooooo good. (He's a meat and potatoes man).

This day was different, I was in and out.  Everything on my list was purchased in order.  No odds and ends from the hunting or fishing supply.  No extraordinary new product that is better than every thing that has come before.

I got home and he was pouting...I had to unload the car by myself.  He had some things he needed, I should have tried harder to wake him, he had wanted to go.

...and the worse thing is, I have to return to Wal Mart with him!!!!  Sure hope I don't lose him when housewares calls my name.


the canned quilter said...

Thanks for the laugh! My hubby has a recliner with that same gas.

Teresa aka JW said...

I hate going to WM. I hear voices there, "Buy me? Buy me?" WM has too much of my money already.

Funny post.

Nezzy said...

Heeehehehe....I'll have to check Farm Boy's recliner for 'gas'!!! I swear as soon as he sits down there he's a gonner!!!

I hate to shop, ' was not born with that shoppin' gene so I only go twice a month to 'stock~up'. I make a list accordin' to the stores layout. My kiddos used to beg me to slow down in the store so I know what you speak of when ya say 'power~Shoppin'!!! :o)

God bless ya sweetie and have a terrific Tuesday!!!

farmer said...

I really do not like shopping,I have a small community owned Co-op that we buy our stuff from,it's not as bad a the big box stores but has most of what I need,I hate waiting in big lines,to much to do!
Feed store is different,I can roam around looking at horse tack,cow halters,seeds....

Country Gal said...

That's funny , thats Papa and I to a TEE ! lol He is a meat and potatoes man as well. Only I dont drive well leagally lol so he has to thats the only crapy thing for me , for now. Great post. Have a good day !

EmptyNester said...

The Wal-Mart trip is the dreaded trip around here. You'd never make it with your list at ours...they move things around weekly!

Hubs doesn't have the gas with his chair...it's just a switch on his butt that flips on every time he sits down---the fall asleep as soon as my rear hits something switch!

mj said...

Maybe that's why our trips to Wal-Mart are dreaded .... everybody feels the same about being there! I could have just as well written this post. It describes word-for-word my take on a trip to Wal-Mart ... as a matter of fact just about the only time I argue with my hubby is when one of us gets lost in the BIG-BOX, and one of us ends up waiting in the wrong place for the one waiting in the other wrong place! Somehow we loose all sense of direction. UGH!

Dreaming said...

Oh, you speak of so many of the frustrations I have with WM. And, like you, a trip to WM used to be exciting! Now it is something I must endure!
At least your hubby gives you and idea of where to find him. Mine just wanders away, like a 2-year-old and I have to hunt for him.
Hope your second trip was fun! How were the housewares?

Rae said...

I had to laugh reading this, it sounds so much like me and my hubby. Walmart is one adventure I prefer to avoid, but it is the only store we have nearby. It is always a nightmare shopping excursion. Add in a "lost" hubby and it is even worse. Good luck with your return trip.

Rudee said...

You'd think he'd thank you for doing such a wretched chore all by yourself. Remember, Gail, no good deed goes unpunished.

I've given up on the super marts-they drive me crazy (short trip).

LindaG said...

Doesn't matter where we are, my hubby pushes the cart and won't wait if I want to compare prices or something; so I only do fill in shopping with him.

I'm with you on shoppers. I only shop Walmart when I can get there at 7 AM.

I do sometimes go with hubby, but then it's usually for stuff he wants. ;)

Ah well. Happy Tuesday! :)

Ruth @ Hope, Joy and Faith Farm said...

My hubby has the same style of chair. Of course, the teen and I crack up, because he promptly falls asleep, then 20 minutes later wakes with a start and says "I wasn't asleep!"

Barb said...

My party who I shop with think it's hilarious to have the store page me!!! Embarassing!

Your observations about Walmart though are pretty accurate. Great post.

Sue said...

What a funny post and one most wives can relate to, I'll bet.

I had to laugh at the nap gas. My hubby has a spot on the couch that releases that as well!


DesertHen said...

I can relate for sure! Never know what is going to end up in the cart when the hubby comes along to shop!

I detest shopping anymore and Walmart is my least favorite place to go, but we only have that and two other stores, so I really don't have much choice! Grrrrrr....

Far Side of Fifty said...

We have Wal mart adventures too..I hate shopping:)

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

lol! This post made me giggle. Such is the life of a married couple who shop at Walmart. lol!


Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I FELL OFF MY CHAIR on this one! Gail...you outdid yourself on this post! Girl...WRITE a book or at least get yourself a job in the writing business. The post office cannot possibly appreciate you!!! LOL

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