a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Friday, May 30, 2014

Sir Loin One...Dennis Zero

Farming or ranching is not for candy asses.  You who have experienced this know what I'm talking about.  It is a farm law that the worst thing that can happen is usually what happens.
Sir Loin before he was fattened.

Sir Loin, the fattening calf, is in a pen of his own.  The cows are in summer pasture.  He has constant fresh water and a feeder so he never has any wants.  I believe he does get bored because cattle are herd creatures.

They say, Never name what you are going to eat.  We did.  Marcy hand picked her grasses from flower beds and feed the poor baby.  Dennis mows clover in the orchard to haul to Sir Loin.  The little bull is spoiled rotten food wise and other wise.

Sir Loin has become a people bovine.  When Marcy or Den are close, he yells for them to bring fresh clover although he has a constant supply of all needed things including hay.

Bonnie, our pit bull, plays tag with him.  They have grown very close and even lick each other a lot.

We THOUGHT Sir Loin was a gentleman.  That thought can kill you with cattle.

Sir Loin is probably topping nine hundred pounds.  Den weighs much less.

The gate had blown shut where Sir's shelter was.  Den's thought was to go in the large corral and open that gate to improve Sir's comfort and tie it back so this would not happen again.

Sir Loin had other thoughts.

Den was in position and pulling the gate to the fence.  Sir thought he had a playing companion.  When you weight nine hundred pounds you pretty much can do what you want to do.

Sir came running at a mad gallop to play like he does with Bonnie.  Den stepped behind the gate just in time.
Sir Loin knows how to use his head.  He repeatedly butted the gate and the fence with Den caught inbetween.

Den can't move.  He can't climb.  He's trapped.  All he has with him is a 380 and that wouldn't pistol whip an ant much less a playful bovine.

Den did mention he thought of shooting him.

The temps yesterday even with rain were in the eighties.  Luckily Andrew came home from school and distracted The Beast while Den was able to climb the fence and get out.

I missed it all.  I was hauling a car load of items to the shop.

When I returned there is an ashen Den setting in his recliner and he tells me his tale.  He is a far better story teller than I and he had me wondering if the calf still stood.  His punch line for me was, "I shot the SOB" After my mouth dropped open, Den smiled and assured me Sir Loin was still living for his June 9th date with the butcher.

Den doesn't think Sir is so cute anymore.

I did ask if he would show me what happens so I could film it.

I won't tell you what his answer was.

There will be no guilt when we eat this calf and Den escaped unscathed.


TexWisGirl said...

oh, dear, oh, dear. could have been so much worse!

Sandra said...

ditto what Teresa says, oh dear. i am so glad he is not trampled or crushed... that should give you meat for a year at that size.

DFW said...

I am so glad it turned out for Den's best!

Ginny said...

Sakes Alive!!! Den cannot be a better story teller than you are here! I read this in amazement, and then read it aloud to Phil. There were plenty of oohs and aahs. There was lots of suspense. I am so glad he is not hurt. If Andrew had not come home when he did, things may have ended very differently. So glad all is now well!

Sketching with Dogs said...

Sorry about what happened to your hubby, thank goodness he is okay. Being a vegetarian I am also can't help but feel sorry about what is going to happen to Sir Loin :(
Lynne x

Dreaming said...

That was more than enough drama for one afternoon. Wow! How scary! I'm glad that all's well that ends well.

Farm Girl said...

I am so glad nothing happened. I have always thought that the most dangerous animal is the one you trust.
A bull did that to my Dad two weeks after his open heart surgery. He said, that he thought it was over for him, only the bull had him on the ground to grind him in the dirt and then stopped and left.
I was so afraid that your story was going to end like that. Yes, it is time he was steaks. My heart was in my throat the whole time. You are a good story teller too.

Linda Wildenstein said...

oh my. thank goodness it was a positive outcome. tell Den, yipee for me.

Sandy said...

I'm happy to hear Den was okay, and Sir Loin wasn't shot.

Soon though, I hear the freezer calling Sir Loin's name.

Lynne said...

Oh my . . . VERY close call!
I will rest better when I know June 9 has passed . . .
How long does it take to fatten to 900 pounds . . .

gld said...

We have one of those! Willow's "baby" at 7 months is getting very testy. I won't get in a pen with him and I have warned Max to watch him. I don't think he is playing though.

Sue said...

Wow, what a life you lead! I absolutely love reading about it because it's all so unfamiliar.

As for Sir Loin, I'm glad he made it possible for your not to grieve him…


LindaG said...

Really, really glad that Den wasn't hurt.
Have a wonderful Sunday. God bless. ♥

DesertHen said...

A good story to tell while enjoying a little Sir Loin!

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