a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Japanese Death Poem


Jisei
Hanging by threads
I could have enjoyed more color
As a mother I loved you both
more than life
I let go
stepped back
and wondered
how I could have loved you
better

dverse~Poets Pub presents a prompt to write a Japanese Death Poem or Jisei...the last words before you die.  I have combined that prompt with the collage prompt from MindLoveMisery's Menagerie.
I am also adding a link to Poets United: Poetry Pantry.  Thank you all for encouraging me to write.

21 comments:

De said...

I like (very much) how your lines progress along the path of the photos you shared. Just beautiful.

McGuffy Ann Morris said...

Well done, Gail.

Truedessa said...

That was an interesting take as I followed the pictures and the words. I enjoy reading your poetry and it is always a pleasure to visit your blog. Have a great day Gail!

Sandra said...

I like it.

Amber said...

This is really well done Gail!

mindlovemisery

brudberg said...

How can we ever cease to blame ourselves.... afterwards..

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love the collage....and you state the eternal maternal conundrum - no matter how much we love, we always think we could have done it better.

NataĊĦa Dolenc said...

beautiful thought.

Mary said...

This is so well done, really one of my favorites of yours EVER.... I think there is often a question in our minds about how we could have loved even more..

Toni Spencer said...

Well done. I myself have wondered if I could have loved more - so I try to love as much as I can here, in this time. Beautiful poem. Spencer is Kanzensakura

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Such a beautiful & touching poem!

Donna said...

Beautiful in thought and picture!

X said...

I would hope our answer would be that we could not have loved them better. Hopefully we lay exhausted of love when finally they leave us. Then again, hopefully we are constantly being refilled with their love along the way.

Bodhirose said...

I'm glad I went by one more time today to check and see if I had visited everyone who had posted to the Japanese Death Poems prompt. All I can say is that being a parent isn't for sissies! We did the best we knew how at the time and nothing can change that. I guess as long as there have been parents there's been guilt. :) Oh well... Thanks for participating!

Gayle ~

Sumana Roy said...

"how I could have loved you / better"...indeed...sigh...

Jae Rose said...

Arresting words - and images - how can we love more...a question that no doubt haunts..powerfully written..

Wendy Bourke said...

This is a lovely piece, Gail. It resonated deeply with me and, in fact, brought a lump to my throat.

Susan said...

"if only" and "More" are common cries at death. You, however, brought tears here in your rendering.

humbird said...

I assume we love them unconditionally no matter what...nice fit with photos....still working on mine..

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

A very effective jisei, and I like the way you doubled the tanka form.

Grace said...

Nice one Gail ~ We always wonder, don't we ~ Thanks for joining in ~

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