a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I'm Gonna Thrash Him!

We are still covered with snow.
It is cold!
And muddy.

Just let me tell you...I always loved it when Mom started a story that way, she was gonna let somebody have it, tell them how the cow ate the cabbage.  WELL,  just let me tell you about Hubby!

You have see from the above pictures, this is not the fun snowy winterland from the romance novels.  This is sloppy mud over your ankles where the feed spots are and slick snow that you can bust your behind on in a New York minute. We are sliding vehicles, splashing tractors, and slipping boots just to get stock fed.

Hubby goes to put out hay, on the tractor.  He flies through, stabs the round bale with his hay stinger, floors it to the gate, splashes through the creek, flies once again through the pasture to his carefully selected feeding spot for the evening.

Yes, I am grateful we have a tractor and the hay to feed but I am telling you this man causes more work....He brings me the phone.  Why?  He can't find his cell phone.  He knows he lost it during feeding and it is probably in the creek, under the mud and he run over it with the tractor and he can't find it anywhere.  He's mashed it, it's gone forever, he's the disaster man is what he is!

Okay, so my job is to repeatedly dial his cell phone to help him locate it.  Good plan if the cell phone is reachable.  So I am dialing and dialing and dialing.  His cell cuts off at four rings, goes to voice mail and I don't know where redial is on this house phone.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, dialing and dialing and dialing.  He comes back to the house with a hang-dog expression and says I can't find it, it's gone, it's mashed, it's trashed, I will never see it again.

Silly me, even after living with this man all these years, I feel sorry for him.  I pull on my muck boots, wrap up warm in my big coat, don my wonderful mittens and start to search.  Tracking Hubby is easy, it is like tracking a herd of wild horses, easy to follow.  I did tell you it was cold, right?  I am walking and looking and hoping his cell in not brown, cause that is the only color I am seeing with occasional spots of white. 

My sister has heard his sad tale and joins me in the search.  We are cold, it is getting dark, but because we are nice, we are still looking.  I said, Marcy, it's too cold to look for a phone. She said, I'm getting cold, I think I'll go in.  Me, too.

About this time, Hubby hollers, I am going to the office to see if my cell phone is there.  Now, if you lost it while feeding, why would you look in your office?  We are frozen stiff, muddy and now, I suspect, I am probably gonna get a little mad too.

That's right, it was in his office, just where he left it!!!  I am gonna thrash him for sure!


Susan said...

Well, you could look on the bright side. He did find the phone. But maybe you should thrash him first.

Nezzy said...

Heeeheeehe! Does this ever sound familiar! Ya want me to come help ya thrash him, he deserves it!!!

Anonymous said...

Your time is valuable. For instance, your effort may be worth say, one week of dishes washed, or several days of bathrooms cleaned. Probably don;t want to chance him cooking a meal, but perhaps a meal or two out. Don't get mad, get even! He won't learn without consequences, at least that's what my better half says :}

Lori E said...

He will have no trouble finding after you stuff it in his....well I'll leave that up to you.

Autumnforest said...

I say you lock him outside without his boots and coat for...a few hours should do it...

Gramma Ann said...


Jennifer said...

I feel for you but this is so funny because I can just see my husband doing this! Mine dropped his cell phone in the pond while fishing once. Too bad he really did and it didn't just turn up in the house somewhere. Of course had I been out there in wader (not that I would have because of course the phone wouldn't work) but had I been out there in waders and he THEN found his phone in the house I would have been just as mad. Poor hubbies, they just can't win. LOL

Breathe said...

At least it wasn't in his pocket.

Like mine was the last time I "lost" it.

(Please don't thrash me)

~Tonia said...

ROTFL!!! That was too funny!! Of course I wasnt out in the cold looking for it!!

Judy said...

LOL - you are such a good wife - It's like the TV remote at our house - "Where is that thing?" - right where you left it - Love it and them -

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

gah! My hubby does this all the time and it send up being in his pocket. lol!

I lost my cell phone last week, but the batteries were dead, so we couldn't find it by calling with the house phone.

My sons happily found it for me in short order, though. Why is that kids can find anything unusual for other people, but ask them to find something of their own, something mundane, and they just can't?


A Joyful Chaos said...

Hilarious! I can imagine the feelings of frustration, but hey that's what good blog posts are made of.

Thanks for entertaining me once again.

Maria said...

Honey, we all have one, lol.
Sometimes it's just good to vent!

Pat said...

Oh-oh. I feel an "I got even with him" post coming up soon. And we all know what a wicked-wicked girl you really are!

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