a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Friday, October 29, 2010

Naked With Two Men...

one at my head, one between my legs!

Bet that caught your attention!  It was a long time ago, thirty-five years ago, if I remember correctly. It was during the birth of our second daughter, Maria.  Happy Birthday, Maria Danielle!!!

After the first birth (Martin and Melissa) I experienced, I gave the doctor orders this time.  Hubby would be there with me, there would be no use of drugs and all would be natural.  The doctor looked at me like I had lost my last marble. I said, if you can't manage that, I'm going somewhere else.  He finally agreed.

The previous week I had gone into labor but stopped.  Home, I went.  The nurse said, you have an appointment next week and I said, won't be back until I'm ready.

Labor pains hit.  I cleaned the kitchen, washed the dishes, cleaned the living room.  By the time I decided to wake hubby, I could not tie my shoes.  We jumped in the vehicle, called my mom.  She met us at the highway. We almost threw Melissa out the window to get to the hospital in time.

At the hospital, the nurse laughed and said, thought you weren't coming 'til you were having that baby.  I said that is why I am here...she still didn't believe me.  We finally convinced them to check me in and Doc came by and said don't make me miss my piece of cake, we are having a party.

They left me in the room and went about their business.  I buzzed them on the intercom and said, ladies, I think you had better get in here, this baby is coming and you have done nothing to prepare.  They laughed. They came and they checked and they panicked!

To make a long story short, we traveled quickly to the delivery room, got fussed at by the doctor.  Hubby, the doctor and I were all joking during the delivery.  Had a little trouble with the shoulders and we joked about backing the truck up to the window and winching the baby out.  We got down to business, less than thirty minutes after we arrived, we had a bouncing baby girl, nine pounds eight ounces. Doc mentioned since it was so easy for me, maybe we should all go into the baby business.  We make 'em, he delivers, we sell 'em and divide the profits...easy money.

Doc was bragging on me and saying, what a great job I did...I begged him to let me walk out of the delivery room.  I said, come on, Doc, let's really blow their minds!  He would not go for it...some nonsense about hospital policy.

As soon as I got dressed, I wanted to go home.  Doc finally relented by clamping Maria's navel with a different clamp.  We went home the same day. 

If you're wondering about the cake, the nurses saved Doc a piece.

Happy Birthday, Maria!  May all your dreams come true!  Love ya, kid!!

15 comments:

Helen said...

Happy birthday to your daughter, that is a special birth story :) I do not have a birth story because we adopted our children.
I wish you a happy weekend :)

Country Gal said...

Happy birthday from us here in Canada. I had all mine by C-section. Hope you have a great weekend.

Golden Eagle said...

Happy birthday to your daughter, Maria! :)

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Now you do really know how to grab a gals attention sister!!! :o)

Here's sendin' that sweet daughter of yours, Maria a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out!!!

I had the same early experience with both my Kids. Four hours with my first but only two with Social Butterfly and the hospital is 70mi. away....and I let Hubs finish the ball game he was playin' in. I did make it to the hospital...barely...heeehehehe!

God bless and have a terrific time celebratin' with family, fun, and loads of cake baby!!!

ellen abbott said...

Both my kids were delivered with no drugs, au naturale. Unheard of in the day. The nurses could not believe how alert my baby daughter was compared to the other (drugged) babies. both deliveries I was only there for 24 hours or less.

Jules said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter. :) And yes that got my attention, lol.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

OmaLindasOldeBaggsandStuftShirts said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter and Happy Birthing day to you. Now that is what I call a birthing story. The Olde Bagg

Judy said...

What a headline...teehee...

Rudee said...

Happy birthday to your lovely daughter, and thank you for the great laugh you gave me today.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

congrats momma and happy birthday to your daughter...

Ellie Garratt said...

Yes. That title did catch my attention. LOL.

Happy Birthday to your daughter!

Carol Kilgore said...

Love the pink zinnia ... and the opening :)

Happy Birthday to your daughter. Hope all of you have a special day.

An English Shepherd said...

Happy Birthday Maria :-)

Wizz

Irene said...

You sure did one hell of a job giving birth. Congratulations to both of you!

Pat said...

Huh! And here I went and poured myself a drink and everything after I read that title! Ha ha!

You are too funny! What a story!

Happy Birthday sweet Maria! You've got a crazy Mama! But you already know that, I'm sure!

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