a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Monday, July 25, 2011

Tell Me Why?

I have a pot full of horses,
supposed to be my life long dream,
I pet them, love them, provide for their needs,
but never saddle up.
They are teddy bears with me,
they never step on my bare feet,
listen to evey request from the ground,
and yet, I can never mount up.
I never mount up,
they are trained,
I am the one not trained.

I have a serious problem
when I can't carry through with my dream.

If I knew how to change it,
oh, God, I would!

If I knew a horse lover,
that would keep them forever,
healthy and loved and ridden,
I would send them away
and call them my failed dream.

Who has time for dreams?
When your day is filled with work,
and  assholes(at work),
and have-to-does,
why even think of dreaming?

22 comments:

Country Gal said...

Just do it women, carry out your dream , I would love to have horses again but right now we dont have enough land, your horses are beautiful , you may not ride them but you have them I envey that of you so make the time to saddle up and just jump on, I never took lessons I just did it when I was on the farm I taught myself by reading lots and watching horse shows you can do it and if you never do get on them well at least you have them to watch, pat, hug , groom,enjoy and love ! Have a good day !

EmptyNester said...

I have the ass-holes too. Or an asshole. Best to ignore them if you can, but certainly don't let them bring you down. They aren't worth it.

Time- no words of wisdom for that. There simply isn't enough in a day. Heck, there's not enough in a minute.

Rob said...

You need a dream to drive you forward. Maybe your real dream was to own horses and you just feel you should ride them because thats what other people do. I know quite a few people who have horses they never ride. Could you not have riding lessons?

LindaG said...

Do they have to be ridden? Just take pleasure in having them and enjoying their company.
Perhaps the riding comes later.
*hugs* ♥

Pat said...

Oh, Gail, you're breaking my heart here. I know how much you love those horses; yet I know it's expensive to keep them. I understand your dilemma. Doesn't anyone else in the family ride them?

Teresa aka Journaling Woman said...

I certainly do not get to everything I want to do or even should do. But, when I find myself not playing my guitar, I give it 10minutes a day and before I know it I'm playing and loving it. Now, you can't do that with horses, but what if you choose two days a week--30 minutes (or more) to ride? Try it. I promise you if you plan it, declare it to your family, you'll do it.

I can see that you want to.

Tamara said...

Your horses are gorgeous!! You should just come home from work, saddle up and take a nice long ride. It will help you relax and get the assholes off your mind at work. :) Never ever let go of your dreams...ever! :) ((Hugs))

ellen abbott said...

Instead of taking one of your walks, saddle up. Even I can ride a horse and I don't have any. Sorry you are feeling so...used.

Cara said...

Very hard. I am constanly torn between what is really important and what is merely urgent.

Rudee said...

I think we need to work as hard at our dreams as we do at our jobs.

Perhaps it's just time to saddle up.

Sue said...

We all need our dreams. Even the ones that are hard to keep going are worth holding on to.

=)

Linda in New Mexico said...

Girlfriend....even if you never ride them....you love them and you must know that they love you or would not pay attention to you the way they do. Don't send away the very thing you need....nurturing, loving, going both ways. Let them heal you. To ride or not to ride.....hold onto your dream, love the horses and find somewhere in your property to go and just scream until you can't anymore. Take a stick a beat the hell out of some inanimate object. Let that out and the love in.
I am giving you and I advice at the same time....funny how we want to take away our most cherished and replace it with loss.....don't. Carry on. Linda

Bandhura said...

Gail,

You can do this! I too am timid when it comes to horses. I think they are beautiful creatures. You love them, they love you and most importantly they TRUST you. This goes a long, long way. I'm sure you have quite a connection to all of them, but if there is a special connection to one in particular, choose him/her to start saddling-up. He/She will protect you and make sure you are nothing but comfortable with the ride. I believe this. I've seen this! I am pulling for you dear! You are awesome and your horses know it!

Hugs!
Tara

Nora said...

You don't have to ride your horses for them to be happy, Gail. They have a good life with you and you enjoy having them. You each love each other so much, let that be enough.

Judy said...

I also had an expensive yard ornament in a horse (though I know you have many, I only had one)...rode so infrequently that almost never...however, they are wonderful animals...I love to pet their noses and smell their coats...sweaty horse does smell wonderful...since you have them, treat yourself and just enjoy them...they don't mine if you don't ride, they don't want to work anyway...they enjoy their life with you...

Helen said...

I`ll tell you why: It is because you have a lot of love ❤
You do not have to give up your dream - remember you are allowed to change it to make it fit your life right now.
We also have a pony we almost never ride, but we still want to keep her - she is a part of us and we love her so much. As long as she is happy here she will stay - and I can see she is ツ
Your horses are happy to have company with each other when you do not have time to be with them - and I guess they are happy. In your photos I think they look very healthy as well.

Jules said...

Because dreams are what shoo away the assholes! Keep dreaming my friend, if I get down that way I'll ride them and I don't need a saddle :)

I'll be back full time soon... bear with me. ;)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Awww Gail. Never give up on your dreams, please?
I've had to scramble through and move past so many challenges and obstacles just to keep my dreams within sight. I've had to move past my comfort zone and do things that terrified me. I've had to give up a lot to have my dreams happen, but I never give up. Sometimes I put the dreams aside, but I never throw them away.
And you shouldn't either.

I recommend you find a professional trainer and take lessons, especially group lessons, because you'll get to meet other riders and realize you're not alone in your fears and doubts. Most of all you'll have fun, and that's what it's all about.

(((((hugs)))))
~Lisa

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

Sometimes we think we want something and then when we have it, we realize maybe it isn't for us. I can say that about bowling. But I don't have to feed a bowling ball. ;)

I hope you find your solution, dear.

Gail said...

Thank you, each and evey one, for your words of encouragement and advice.

Farm Girl said...

I will tell you a secret. I had that same dream. I did the same thing, I never rode. I didn't have the time like I did when I was a kid when I could just jump on and ride on and on.
Life happened. I felt so guilty. Then my horse got sick, I had the vet out finally the vet said he had cancer. I didn't even know they could get cancer. He had to be put down.
So was my dream. I cried for a month, dreams are hard to give up.
I will never get another horse, Ever, it hurts so much now to fall off and I am so scared of breaking something I might need.
I gave my stuff away to a girl who is 12 it made her happy.
It is all a process. You do have lovely, horses. It would be really hard for me too.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hi Gail, You must have friends that ride. I used to ride..gave it up because I didn't trust my daughters horses..I always thought I would like to raise a foal from the time it left it's mother. But they should have a barn..and we don't have one or a fence.
I bet they like you anyway. How about training one to harness and get a small cart to pull..with you in it of course! :)

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