a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Things I Thought I Would Never Confess...

I used to bite my toe nails!  That's right, don't have to read it again. As a younger more nimble me I was the Toe Nail Biter of the family. Bit my fingernails too but that didn't seem to get as much attention.

We traveled a lot with Dad's job.  I went missing one time.  Mom panicked but soon found me with a pack of dogs in the nearby park.  The family joke after that was, Need Gail? Call the dogs.

We once lived in a two story house.  I had an inflatable toy horse.  I spent hours throwing it over the balcony and racing downstairs and outside to see if I could catch it!  I don't know why no one stopped me.  I guessed they thought I would figure it out soon enough.  I kept thinking if I just run a little faster...guys, I was only three!

I got a whipping from Mom when she found out I knew how to read.  I didn't know I could read!  I had two older sisters and I guess I just picked it up at the young age of four.  I remember going to the post office and thinking why does that say "off ice"?  It was warm weather.

Our Christmas rule was even if you knew what the gift was, you never told.  One gift for my sister was wrapped in thin tissue paper.  I'm holding it, pressing the paper, sounding the words out loud....Bugs Bunny Cartoon...Wham!!! I was getting a whipping before I knew it.  I had broken the rule!!!!

I would hide in the closet and eat clear nail polish. Dip the brush and let it slide between my closed teeth getting every drop.  No one knew. I just ate a little at a time.  I finally confessed to Mom about forty years after the fact.

I got a paddling in second grade for talking in class...not me!!!  Yes, it was and the teacher missed breaking the paddle on the desk.  Lucky me.

My second paddling was not a miss.  A specially chosen child each day got to carry the milk for our break to the class room.  I had never been chosen.  We all knew the first one in from recess got to carry the milk.  I got there early because I wanted to carry milk so badly...and that's when my third grade teacher paddled me for coming in too early.  I'm getting mixed messages here, lady!

I had snakes for pets but could only keep them if they were confined and that confinement stayed at the barn.  One rule right at the top of THE RULES was no snakes in the house.  Mom wasn't home.
What harm was there in that?  I had it in a jar...welllllllllllll, the jar tipped over.  Never caught the snake and never confessed that one...Sorry, Mom!

I have a male cousin my age...nope, don't even go to the dirty thoughts!  He was always trying to out climb, out run, out play, out wrestle me.  He was such a weak child.  I put one of my dresses on him. He fought pretty good that time but I still won.  We had an old Kodak box camera, yep, took his picture.

After his parents divorced I did not see him for years.  He, then in the military service, showed up where I worked. He mentioned the dress and how he tried so long to overcome that humiliation as a child.  I said, I was sorry.  We laughed.  I think I could still out wrestle him!

17 comments:

Haddock said...

Enjoyed reading that. Straight from the heart. The best is "throwing it over the balcony and racing downstairs " . . . .something similar to what I did.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I loved reading these confessions! I got a many a paddlin' in school :)

Saucy Kodz said...

Nail Polish - Gail - Really?? ha,ha I sure enjoyed this post and was laughing when I pictured you throwing over the balcony and racing downstairs to catch it before it landed. he,he I can remember telling my Mom stuff later in life and she would smile that secret smile of hers and say....I knew all along - just thought I'd wait to see how long it took you to tell me???? How did Mothers always know? Best part was putting the dress on your cousin. ha,ha - but then you did say you were sorry. Really enjoyed this post. Best to you n Family- hugz to M.

Buttons said...

Oh my gosh you had me laughing out loud. You know after getting to know you through your blog not one of these secrets surprise me at all. That is a good thing:) Hug B

Sandra said...

maybe they let you run and chase that up and down because it was good exercise. but maybe not. i got a whipping several times, but since i am a whimp for pain i made sure i did nothing to deserve one. i was so afraid of daddy i was a good girl... it is a wonder you did not poison yourself with the nail polish.. i once smoked a cigar and got so sick daddy did not punish me... i loved to guess what was in the packages and was really good at it.. when i was 6 i found a doll in the closet, mother told me Santa was so busy he brought it for her to put out, since he could not make it.. after that she locked everything in the suitcases... my cousin used to bite her toe nails.

Linda Wildenstein said...

I'm with Buttons on this one....you really don't surprise me with your antics now or in the before time. You do however tickle my funny bone often and frequently. This was hilarious.

Linda Kay said...

Oh, my, it's a wonder you survived all the trauma! I only remember getting once spanking and it was for being a brat at my aunts house while the adults were playing cards.

Bethany Carson said...

Haha...oh my...you had a colorful childhood! Enjoyed reading immensely! Never tried nail polish but I did eat cat food...

Brian Miller said...

oh I got the switch a time or two...or well I cant count that high...ha....clear nail polish...that is a bit stomach turning actually....

Karen S. said...

After a childhood like that, now I will have to learn about your adulthood too! Hehehe! I know you would have been a best friend of mine....what a fun prankster you were....um, kind of still is! I just know it.

TexWisGirl said...

glad you had a chance to apologize to your cousin. i like the pack of dogs story...some things don't change - but glad you don't bite toenails or eat fingernail polish anymore!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I bet that snake is still there, lurking...

Andrew MacLaren-Scott said...

I was smiling until I reached the eating of the nail polish.

Wow. That one worried me.

Then I read on and began smiling again.

Ian H said...

Confession time Big time. Here I thought you were a laid back "Normal" person. Wrong again!

Sandy said...

You sound like a normal kid, always doing things......testing the water :-)

LindaG said...

I can't believe she paddled you for knowing how to read. Strange.
A lot seems normal though, I agree. I would never touch a snake, though. Ha!
I have done the toe nail thing when younger, too.
Have a wonderful weekend, Gail. ♥

Lynne said...

Whew . . . feeling better, getting all that off your chest?
Toe nails . . . are you sure?

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