Magpie Tales presents a wonderful visual writing challenge each week called The Mag. No requirements except keeping it clean and try to visit your fellow participants. Enjoy.
Wind of History by Jacek Yerka
Broken marble concrete crumbles
People invade repeatedly
One light shows one car goes
As so many before
Who meets them what greets them
Will be a great surprise
It could have been different
If only people had come
When the occupants were living
They would welcome every one
Now the people visit
Who would never have before
The welcome is not so open
The smiles are not so kind
No refreshments offered
No conversation to pass the time
If only they had come
When the occupants were alive...
36 comments:
they really should have come when there was someone there... when i looked at it i had not once single thought, yours is perfect, why can't i think like this?
Really well done, I like the combination of hinting at ghostly greeters and of noting that no one came to visit when the occupants were alive. Sadly, so often true.
really good, a sad tale we should all heed
I really do love the rhymes here. It flows so easily. Very cool picture too. Something I would like to try with needle felting...someday.
This is really cool!
Like this.
WOW, Gail, you have blown this one outta the water. Excellent poem and I looked at the photo for a wee bit to examine it closely prior to reading your poem and you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I love it, I friggin love it. OOOPs, can I say friggin here :)
A great, spooky if only.
Your words fit the prompt very well!
Some have "the gift" some do not . . . You are in the "gift" category Gail . . .
Very well written! I think you captured this one perfectly.
It really stirs up much emotion. The end makes one want to turn back the time and go and visit.
I should have seen it coming, but the ending still surprised me. "If only" is a common enough human lament.
Haunting... just like the pic.
Effective!
oo rather haunting...makes me think of all those just waiting for someone to come visit them...alone and rather sad...its all too late...
this piece made me feel quite sad..x
loved this...you're really good at this. Congrats girlfriend. Oma Linda
Old building always have this regret - that their glory days are past...
I like it , well done ! Have a good day !
Sad, but cool.
no regrets when one takes time to visit.
Heavy and gloomy and I love it!
Well said, Gail! Makes you feel like inviting folks over, doesn't it?...:)JP
Sad but true. So many are guilty of this, including me. I remember in my family the times that people really rallied around was when someone was dying. And I knew they were there in hopes of getting in the will at the last minute. It didn't work. But, seriously, WTH?
Really great job with this one, Gail!
It is always wise to visit when invited- I remember showing up way to
late a time or two- no fun! thanks.
Unexpected visitors always come at the wrong time!! Ha!
Loved this
Hugs
?SueAnn
Utter loneliness ... always so sad. Nice write, Gail!
..and so they will pay with a bit of haunting? That's were my mind went and I love it (I always love going on haunted ghost tours in old cities...)
Too many if onlys when we don't visit the people we care about.
And all of them make for one very haunted spiritual house.
Loved this.
=)
This is so true. Ghosts don't lay down a welcome mat.
If only they had come
When the occupants were alive...
If only.. Do not those two words so beautifully sum up life?
Such a wise message here!
I just hate when that happens! Ah yes, a nice reading and a lesson well learned!
My son was killed in a car crash. For some amount of time the crash was not found. If only someone would have come sooner. So many came to his services but all has been forgotten by many. All went home to their homes and have not come around. The journey of grief is lonely only if they would still come. Your words all brings this to mind. It is something how photo or the writers words can be described in many ways to each. Blessings! Lara
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