a tale of tails, tenacity, and tedium, as told by me, usually barefoot and bellowing

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Don't Ask Me Why...

but for some reason I have been thinking about sayings I have heard and used all my life.  I thought these were commonly used.  Imagine my surprise when people asked about them.  Although some of these commonly used phrases have violent content, they were never carried through.

How'd you like to not see me for three days?  Take that long for the swelling to go down.

I'm gonna rip off your arm and beat you with the bloody end of it.

Gonna knock a knot on your head, big enough for a bull calf to suck on.

I'm gonna knock you into next week and you'll miss the weekend.

He would argue with a fence post.

Not worth the powder to blow them to hell.

Not worth the salt in his bread.

Happy as a pig in a mud hole.

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Madder than a wet hen.

Best thing since sliced bread.

Slow as the seven year itch.

Who put the burr under your saddle blanket?

Could talk the horns off a billy goat.

Can heal a crack in a fence post.

Ugly in the cradle, pretty in the saddle.

More scared than a cat on a coon hunt.

Meaner than a one-eyed snake

I could probably go on forever but I will not.  I enjoy using these colorful phrases, sometimes just plain English doesn't serve the purpose. When I think about it, it is kinda sad that it takes so little to entertain me.

What is your favorite off the wall saying or description?

9 comments:

Sunny said...

"Don't get your knickers in a twist!"
"You need that like a fish needs a bicycle!"
Just to name a couple - haha!
☼ Sunny

Judy said...

Fun post...I like "neater than a skeeter's peeter"

...Thanks

mj said...

My dad had one that he use to say, "I'm happier than a two-peckered billy goat!" ;)

Linda in New Mexico said...

My two toppers are:
finer than frogs hair and
dumber than a box of rocks...and I guess on a more practical manner I'm gonna slap you so hard your grandkids are gonna cry.

I love you, love you, love you and your followers too....too funny.

Nora said...

All my sayings are sensible and in Dutch. I don't have any good insulting English ones.

colenic said...

Love this post!!
My husband has introduced me to a few:
Wound tighter than a three day clock on a 5 day time span
Useless as tits on a bull

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.

I've heard a lot of these before. My dad was good for this stuff.

Pat said...

Road hard and put away wet.

Colder than a witch's tit.

Fun post!

Nezzy said...

Heeehehe! I do declare, ya'll are speakin' my lingo. Just makes me as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. Gotta run I'm as busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time. Heeehehehe!

You have a wonderfully blessed Wednesday Miss Gail. :o)

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