Don't Ask Me Why...

but for some reason I have been thinking about sayings I have heard and used all my life.  I thought these were commonly used.  Imagine my surprise when people asked about them.  Although some of these commonly used phrases have violent content, they were never carried through.

How'd you like to not see me for three days?  Take that long for the swelling to go down.

I'm gonna rip off your arm and beat you with the bloody end of it.

Gonna knock a knot on your head, big enough for a bull calf to suck on.

I'm gonna knock you into next week and you'll miss the weekend.

He would argue with a fence post.

Not worth the powder to blow them to hell.

Not worth the salt in his bread.

Happy as a pig in a mud hole.

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Madder than a wet hen.

Best thing since sliced bread.

Slow as the seven year itch.

Who put the burr under your saddle blanket?

Could talk the horns off a billy goat.

Can heal a crack in a fence post.

Ugly in the cradle, pretty in the saddle.

More scared than a cat on a coon hunt.

Meaner than a one-eyed snake

I could probably go on forever but I will not.  I enjoy using these colorful phrases, sometimes just plain English doesn't serve the purpose. When I think about it, it is kinda sad that it takes so little to entertain me.

What is your favorite off the wall saying or description?