And You Laugh!

I got my book!  Now I will know all I need to know.  I basically know this is the head and this is the tail and that the art of riding is keeping the horse between you and the ground.  Well, I know a little more than that but I really only know how much I don't know.

The top of the book says, "For riders of all disciplines, boost your self-confidence and...." this was all I needed to read.  I do need a boost into the saddle and I definantly need a boost in self-confidence so this must be the book for me.

I am learning the proper way to dress, which this is not.  Shorts, t-shirts, no bra(that's way I don't trot) but I did have boots on.

Unlike this photo where I look like I am falling with my flip flops on.  (Gosh, how many pounds can a rider put on in a few short years?)  I was trying to get him to turn but I guess I thought I was riding a bike and leaning for the turn, who knows! Honestly, I do not know what I am doing in this picture.  That is why I got the book.

I do have a story to tell of Charme's and my first ride.  Andrew and I were all excited to ride.  Saddled up and Andrew said you go first Nana.  So I did, proudly. 

Took off at a fast walk toward the spring, got about half way there and Charme decided to go back to the barn...at a faster walk, maybe a trot, maybe more, but I am hanging on.  As she jumps the dry creek and I see all the big rocks I carefully placed down there, I prayed not to fall.  I said, Lord, I do not have enough sick leave.

Okay, old girl, I am the boss and we are getting this right this time!  I get her headed out and past the spring again.  Much better this time, then she decides to go, I do not know what a one rein stop is and do not even remember if I had the reins at that point.  Now you are talking to someone who falls off the WalMart horse.  Charme is not bucking or doing anything wrong except not listening to me.  She wants to be at the barn with her minis...and she is moving there fast!

This time she does not jump the dry ditch but heads right for a persimmon tree, straight on and I am praying, don't let me fall, don't let me fall.  Then it was, don't let me hit that tree!  So Charme makes a ninty degree turn and the saddle slides to the right side but I am still gripped to that saddle for dear life.

As the saddle slides toward her belly with me on it, she stops.  Thank God, she knew she was losing her rider.  I just kinda hang there with my feet in the stirrups, reins in a death grip and the saddle horn welded to my hand.  By this time, one foot is on top of the horse and one is under it, but by golly, I am still in the saddle.

Hubby sticks his head out the door and says where's Nana and Andrew says, riding.  Hubby hollers and says where are you, I said I am on the horse and he says I do see your feet, you alright?  Yes, I am alright.  He goes back in the house.

When I get completely on the ground, while good Charme is standing so quietly, nuzzling the other d--- horses through the fence, I realize maybe she is a little buddy spoiled.

Andrew yells, Do that again, Nana, that was fun!

I said it is your turn and he declined but he did want to know what I was thinking as we ran.  I said I was praying, Andrew said, no, you weren't!  How do you know?  I heard you yelling, no, Andrew I was praying.  He said can I tell you what you said and not get into trouble?  Go ahead, Andrew. 

I was yelling. "Whoa, damnit, whoa!"

Now you know WHY I need this book!